THOUGHTS ON HAVING CLOSE IN AGE KIDS
I’ve always thought that a 3-4 years gap between the first-born and the second is quite ideal for child spacing. Hubby and I actually decided and planned to have it that way since we reasoned we wanted to enjoy Nico for quite sometime until we feel we are ready for the second.
But you know, it’s kinda weird because just lately, we realized that if we can only turn back time, we would have opted a close in age gap (around 18-24 months?) between Nico and the second baby.
At four years old now, we can feel the cons of raising an only child in Nico. Boredom, the feeling of loneliness with no “real” and “regular” playmates to have fun with plus a number of more reasons—we can’t help but think what joy it was if Nico had a younger sibling. They would have enjoyed each other more and have more in common. They would have been best of friends and as well, as great playmates.
Last weekend was a vivid picturing of this realization. My best friend for life was in town once more for a short business trip and together with her three and a half year old daughter Sam, they stayed in our home until yesterday. Nico had the grandest time playing with Sam for a couple of days and seeing our Little Boy’s eyes all glowing in happiness having a playmate all giggling and excited the moment he wakes up in the morning until he retires at night, surely, it was true happiness no amount of money or materials things or the best toys in this world can buy.
Then came Sunday. While my BFF was on a meeting with her clients, we took pleasure of tagging Sam along when we heard the Mass, and then later did our usual eating out and strolling the Mall for a few hours. After canvassing for a router and a laptop memory at the second floor of the Mall, we brought Nico and Sam at Tom’s World where the two kids had the grandest time exploring the place. And as they do their play, Hubby and I just can’t hide the smiles on our faces, seeing the two bonding so well. Nakakatuwa silang tingnan, kahit na paminsan-minsan nag-aaway. 
They are like a brother and sister to each other.
Evidence shown in the following photos:
“How can we afford not to have a sister or a brother for Nico for so long?” I told this to Hubby. Again, it’s kinda weird but I thought it was somewhat “selfishness” I felt on our part as parents thinking what difference it would have made if we had a second child a year or two after Nico was born. Yes, I know, and I’ve heard close friends complaining the first years are the hardest raising two almost simultaneously. But count to think of it, it must served as an advantage as well going through the ordeals of nighttime wakings and endless diaper changes all at once. Isang hirap na lang, ika ka nga. In other words, the long-term benefits are but rewarding.
But then the Hubby had his way to make me feel better. And he’s so right. The reality that “no matter how carefully we decide on family plans, He up there may have greater plans in store”. And I so agree.
12 responses so far
oh yes… we had the same thoughts too when our son was around nico’s age.
lady cesss last blog post..Bring The Homemade Bacon
hi Cess. kaya pala nasundan ng isang pretty little girl named Sandra!
we’re hoping in His perfect time, we’ll be blessed with another one too. 
It’s really His call up there. I also wanted a closer gap like 2 - 3 years but God made it almost 6 years and we are ever grateful.
Mhalous last blog post..Her First Visit to the Dentist
hi buntis! He really has a purpose for everything, though we may have our own plans. and God is good He gave it to you at the right time. that definitely is a blessing worth being grateful for.
My brother and I have 12 years between us. its like a generation gap
Julian and Tania both enjoy each other’s company, away-bati. Sometimes I don’t mind them, I just stop them when there is hitting. yes there is violence too. I had a hard time adjusting when they were born since Trixie was born 6 years before them. I had to teach again the things I already taught Trixie.
hi T.Julie! 12 years gap? grabe. for sure your Mama felt it was like conceiving for first child again.
naalala ko yung kwentuhan natin sa Center one time. aba eh, kung alam ko lang, sana pala magkasunod na kaagad, para isang hirap na lang.
Ako naman sabi ko lagi dati mga 5 years gap. But as Derelle turned 2, we thought of the same thoughts as yours. Kaso sadyang mailap ang kapalaran haha!
Eto sablay na naman. Sana naman hindi ako binawian sa sinabi ko dati na gusto ko kasi 5 years gap.
And just like your hubby, yan din ang sabi ng akin. Pakonswelo!!
Mitchs last blog post..Smart Is Acting Smart Again!!!
hi Mitch. oo, naalala ko pa yang 5 years age gap na plano nyo ni Hubby. remember the Chinese Lunar Calendar? di bale, try and try until you and Hubby succeed. heehee.
I know the feeling. My oldest child is actually 9 years old na…second is only 3 years old…and our little “accident” is just turned 1. hahahaha
hi Noreen. wow, a 6-year age gap is definitely loooonggg. it’s like having to undergo pregnancy and giving birth for the first time again. good thing, the little accident is just to close, at least, isang ordeal na lang.
BTW, thanks for the visit Noreen.
frenchguy and i always wanted the 3-year gap and we’re on it. 1-2 year gap is too difficult, especially with the kind of set-up here wherein we need to tend to everything because having a stay-at-home yaya is too expensive. 4-5 years seems to be too much. they won’t have the same interest anymore. 3 years seems to be the best compromise. the first one starts to have his own independence, understands more, would start schooling, and the best of all, they still belong to the same generation, would have the same interest and would play together.. well, that’s what we’re wishing anyway..
analyses last blog post..On Pregnancy, Maternity Leave and Everything that Goes with It
hi Buntis! you are definitely on the right track. sa totoo lang, I envy how you and Frenchguy implemented everything, as planned.
double ingat ka Analyse. the third trim is the most exciting and much anticipated phase.