COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A LASTING MARRIAGE
[This is my answer to Teacher Julie’s Weekly Question for this week: If you are married would you know if your husband is reading your blog? If you are in a relationship, would you know if your partner is reading your blog?]
Just like any form of human relationships, communication plays a very important role in a marriage. In fact, it is, more often than not, the key factor for a marriage to be long lasting. As one book had put it:
The heart of marriage is its communication system…But no couple begins with highly developed communication. It is not something they bring into marriage ready, but something to be continually cultivated through all the experiences of their shared life.”
And I so agree. Honestly, mine and Hubby’s marriage is far from being perfect. I clearly remember there were so many times (I think I’ve lost count) that we disagreed on so many things simply because we lack, or should I say, fail to really sit down and talk.
An example of this miscommunication just happened so recently. Remember the dark tunnel we’re traveling? Just so recently, we’re traversing one of the roughest roads in our married life. If only I have the courage to share everything, but to put it simply, the lack of communication between the two of us made the situation worst.
Thankfully, I have this online journal to keep. This little space of mine which had kept my sanity to normal levels all these years, was surprisingly read by Hubby at one time we were both at our lowest points—I was keeping my silence and there was no way for him to break it and nowhere that I gave him a chance to explain everything. And by the time he read some of the posts here, there and then, he let go of his own pride and ego and finally had the courage to approach me. We talked heart to heart, let our angst out, and the next thing we knew, we found ourselves united in traversing the rough road together.
The husband or the wife getting to know more of their better half through Blogs seems to sound so trivial. And weird too. Marriage is ideally dealt on very personal levels between the Husband the wife, right? But a case in point was what Hubby and I experienced recently. Even with constant exchanges of SMS and phone calls and discussing over so many things at home, in the road, in the Office, or wherever—it wasn’t good enough as guarantee that we both know what’s happening to one another. I just realized I haven’t told him the deepest of my thoughts lately as compared to how I write them in detail in this diary. Maybe because we have opposite schedules as of the moment that we always have the lack of quality time as an ill excuse to sit down and really talk.
Still, the best thing about it was that, he didn’t charge me at all guilty of keeping everything only to myself and this diary. Instead, we both resolved to try to keep the lines of communication between the two of us open and transparent as much as possible. And right now, even with conflicting schedules, we’ve been trying our best to have our Hubby and Wifey time.
At the very least, our coffee time early in the morning should suffice enough for us to sit down and talk on family matters that concerns us or just about anything under the sun. Say, Nico’s latest antics, how home fixtures like maxim lighting can fit it into our cathedral ceiling in the living room, or talk about how to color Hubby’s salt and pepper-like hair, or simply just about anything. Until then, we have to be a little more patient before we can revive those Wednesday dates, which we’ve been missing for quite sometime. 
8 responses so far
nalungkot ako for myself, ndi na tayo sabay 
when...
oh my… this is so moving. from the bottom of the heart ang post na ito.
lady cesss last blog post..More Than Just Good Luck
hi Cess. I guess, the uber sentimental in me attacked again. thanks.
Feng, ang ganda! Thanks so much for sharing this very personal journey that you and your husband are both going through.
Emote na sana ako kaya lang me nakita ako sa huli
Pero totoo, if only we let our feelings, thoughts and chuva known, everything naman, napag-uusapan di ba. And psst, the two steaming mugs of coffee, kami ni hubby sa isang big mug lang umiinom, share kami
Thanks Feng, and till next week.
julies last blog post..Sunset
you’re always welcome TJulie.
as the quote had put it: communication is something nurtured for a marriage to be long lasting. naks!
super emote na nga, tapos, may singit na naman na SP, haha! ang sweet nyo naman ni Hubby ha. at talagang sa isang mug umiinom.
sa susunod na linggo ulit.
I so agree with Cess. Thanks to this blog, naging bridge pa…
Mitchs last blog post..Arte Y Pico
hi Sis! thanks. hayaan mo, pag naka tiempo akong mag YM, kwento ko sa yo detail by detail.
sandali ha..kuha lang ako ng tissue
feng…this is so moving and so raw. sobra ka talaga, ang aga pa eh, napa-emote na din ako. pero alam mo everything you said, it’s true. communication should always be there between husband and wife. kahit trivial, dapat pag-uusapan. and always set time aside just for the two of you…importante talaga yan.
ahem…napansin ko din…hehehe
Cookies last blog post..Weekend Snapshot : Frustrated Sagala
hi Cookie. pasensya po sa ka emotan ng post na ito. blame it on my pagka senti, umatake na naman!
how ironic nga our situation for the past few weeks. we see each other at home naman kahit papano, and we have our phones too if we want to reach one another. kaso, dahil conflicting ang skeds namin, we saw that an excuse for not being updated with each other. but thank God for such marriage spices, we’re a-ok.
ahem, ahem, napansin mo din ang toot toot… heehee!