TRAIN UP A CHILD IN A WAY THAT HE SHOULD GO
[This is an answer to a tag by Cookie on Five Things I Want My Kids to Know Before They Grow Up.]
So many childcare and parenting books whose authors are “experts” offer so many childrearing and parenting advice. There’s these books which claims that if you don’t follow these systems you’re told to do, you will not raise a good child. And of course, being the doting parents that we are, we sure wish only the rightful way of parenting and childrearing for our children. That is why, our tendency is to patronize as many parenting resources we can get our hands on, just as so we are confident we are teaching our children the rightful way. But can anyone of us truly know which to trust or believe?
Last Sunday, we attended the 3PM Mass at the Megatrade Hall of SM Megamall. It was one of those usual Masses that we attend. Same Priest, same set of Church choir, same set of people who help out all throughout the the ceremony. But what made that Mass really special for me and Hubby was the Priest’ homily which centered on parenting. Very apt for newbie parents like we are, he told the story about a couple who were just expecting their first child.
This couple have the vision to be the dedicated parents that they are to their future child. And like most new parents who weren’t sure how to raise a child in a proper way, they decided to take parenting classes offered at their church. After the first class, they realized that there were different opinions, especially in their own church, about raising godly children.
Feeling a little confused, they decided to talk over the various childrearing issues with their family physician. And to their shock, even as they knew their family physician and his wife as model parents, his advice was surprisingly simple and clear:
“By all means study up on parenting. Read books and attend classes. Learn all you can about babies. But remember, too, that this is your unique baby, and you are his or her parents. You must become an expert on your baby and develop your own method for raising him or her. No one else can create a method for your baby.”
The couple was speechless and just nodded in agreement. And so we did too during the Homily. 
It really hit me straight and I couldn’t agree more. Yes, we may have all this burning desire to be good parents and that makes us vulnerable to all kinds of advices that promises us good children. But no one can ever guarantee that. Parenting advice is often a matter of opinion. There is no one way to raise every child.
And so in ending, the Priest said to the couple: “I believe God wants you to develop your own method for raising your baby,” he said. The Bible tells us clearly to: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” In summary, the Priest advices parents to always remember that it’s good to go to a variety of classes and talk to lots of parents on what we want to teach our children before they even grow up and have their own set of minds BUT “use only what fits your temperament and your desire for your child’s happiness”. “In that way you will learn how to train up your child in the way he should go, ” he said.
Very very apt for a still newbie parents like me and Hubby. And for four years of having Nico as the center of our attention and love, I thought it was that long enough to bear as an extensive experience and that we’re “experts” already. But nope, I have to believe the parenting challenge is far from over. There are challenges ahead waiting to be taken and I just hope that though our parenting styles is far from being ideal, God will spare our son or our future kids from having to be influenced by worldly things, especially on drugs and alcohol, or else we’ll be left with no choice but to get them to those alcohol rehab centers.
10 responses so far
Congrats, congrats… I am so happy for you. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll...
yep, i agree…there is really no singular way of parenting a child. each set of parents has their own unique set of rules/value/system. whichever it is, as long as one’s mindset is to offer the best for the child..then that is really the best way.
off topic..bakit pag hini-hit ko yung “post” button walang nangyayari? so pati save hini-hitt ko na din para sigurado
Konkong622s last blog post..Friends…And More Friends
hi Cookie. I so agree with everything you’ve said. parenting is really one big tough challenge that no parenting or childcare books can ever instruct how to.
re: button to submit the comments, oo tama na SAVE button ang i-click mo so that the comment gets through. may nai install kasi ako na comment plugin kaya tuloy ganyan ang nangyari. hehe.
Tama, babies are unique and so no amount of formal education as well as reading all available information can make one a good parent.
Galing ng link mo ah
julies last blog post..Franklin is Lost by Paulette Bourgeois
you’re so right T. Julie. we can compare notes with other parents or consult books, but never its a guarantee the same approach will work for our kids.
haha, oo, yung link, naisingit na din kahit pano.
Great post. Books can be a good guide but not everything can be learned through books. More often than not, experiences help us learn and understand how to do things in life especially the aspect of parenting.
Rach (Heart of Rachel)s last blog post..Tagged :: Friends Around the World
thanks Rach. and yes, experiences are far the bestest teacher of all compared to parenting and childcare resources.
parenting evolves as the child grows, and that varies from one child to the other. it’s like management, you adapt your method to the kind of employee you have.. it would be really complicated if you read all books, all parenting sites, listen to all advices.. i listen more to my intuition.. and i always discuss with my frenchguy on how we would react to such and such behaviour and how we would want louna to grow up.. it’s complicated enough that we came from two different cultures, thus different kinds of traditions, beliefs, upbringing, lifestyle, language… it’s an everyday struggle for me to leave a certain filipino-ness on her, especially now that I see her grow up as a real frenchy..
parenting is a constant learning process.. needless to say that i’m learning everyday..
I so agree with everything you’ve said Analyse. as parents, we learn something new everyday. and re: intuition, oh that’s the bestest something among us parents, esp. mothers that God has ever created.
I can sense the predicament you have for Louna. raising him in a bi-racial way, with two different cultures is really a tough tough challenge. she maybe dominantly frenchy for now, but sooner you’ll be surprised, when she’s a little bit older, she’s insist on tracing her Mama’s Filipino roots.
feng, may i just say na ang galing mong magsingit ng, ehem, SPs. hee hee. idol kita! hahaha! kaya naman siguro natanggalan ako agad ng PR sa food blog. hahaha!
Wengs last blog post..LP #8: Tubig
Weng, the secret is with playing with words lang siguro.
aba, syempre, kahit nag e entertain tayo ng SPs, dapat they won’t overpower how we write our usual posts.
yung PR sa food blog mo, eh naku, hayaan mo lang, pasasaan ba’t si Mr. Google eh matatauhan.