TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY
It was past midnight when Hubby woke up hearing me complain of menstrual cramps…
Me: Ay grabe, ang sakit, parang magkaka-dysmenorrhea yata ako.
Hubby: (got up from deep slumber with eyes all glowing) Bakit, hindi pa ba time of the month? Di ba dapat last week pa yan? Baka naman pregnant ka na?
Me: (paused for a while, raised eyebrows matched with a sarcastic face to Hubby) Hoy, hindi po ako pregnant at siguro baka next year na lang tayo dapat magka-baby, ok! Agree or disagree?
Hubby: (seemed not interested anymore, and went back to sleep quick) Whatever!
Above was one of the many brief conversations that Hubby and I usually have these past months–to have or not yet have another addition to the family. We thought we’ve already resolved that long dilemma back in March. Fact is, it even prodded me to survey among Mommies whether a Chinese lunar calendar is accurate or not in planning/predicting a baby’s gender. But the dilemma went on until now. There were times we’ve been trying to conceive but then there were times too we’ve thought to shelve our plans for a little while especially when worries on bringing up Nico is laid for discussion. In short, ours was a sort of on-and-off plans.
Hubby was quick at saying “If only there is a one-child policy law in the Philippines” then it could have been more justifiable not to have another child because there’s a law to follow. In real terms however, there is none and with the predominantly “big family culture thing” in Pinas, it is quite unusual for couples to be childless or have just one child. If a husband and wife are married for many years or so, a natural Pinoy question the poor couple would often encounter is: “Ano, wala pa ba?” Almost a similar tone goes if a couple has a growing child (often a toddler or preschooler), the common question would be: “Ano, wala pa bang kasunod?” And worst, if a couple had two already and both are of the same sexes (say two boys na or two girls), the follow-up question will be revived after some more years: “Oh wala ka pang girl/boy, gawa pa kayo ng isa”. LOL.
In our case, we’ve agreed before (and I do believe it still holds true until now) that having another one should be more of a mutual decision (though unconsciously, I thought too maybe some pressure from the environment are prodding us). Having Nico after three long years of being a couple was precisely the product of that mutual decision (and some pressure too) and fast forward to three and half years of having a son, it’s surprising to realize we’re confronted with the same situation again: the dilemma on whether to have or not yet have another addition in the family.
And oh, about the cramps. It was dysmenorrhea indeed because the time of the month has come.
8 responses so far
nalungkot ako for myself, ndi na tayo sabay 
when...
Ilang taon na nga si Nico?
Mitch, three and six months na sya last Oct 1.
Uy pala, am sharing you two awards, see the post after this
I agree with you Feng that it should be a mutual decision. Parang ang hirap na rin kasi magkaroon ng more than one child ngayon. Kami ang worry namin is baka di namin mabigyan ng taman attention.
Pero it’s true na the more the merrier.
exactly my thought Nice. the biggest worry is if I could give the same love and attention to the second, just as what was given to the first. but siguro naman, it’s a matter of managing lang our time din ano.
Ay naku, ganyan talaga ang mga Pinoy!! You’re right, having a child should be mutually agreed upon. It’s a big decision so it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Ako nga, lalaki ang hinahanap ng lahat ng kamaganak ko. Haller!! Parang…it’s my body, my choice, with the husband’s contribution. Wala na kayo dun..di ba
hmmm, next question pls hehe.. hay naku, im facing exactly the same questions now, and my biggest pressure is probably frenchguy! ako kaya ang magbubuntis no, so i have the last word nyehehe..
correct ka dyan Cookie! eh sa mga nagbubuyo sa yo for a son, eh sorry na lang sila, manigas sila sa kahuhula at kahihintay kung kelan. (hindi naman ako bitter nyan ha!!!)
Analyse, aba eh kung pine pressure ka ni Frenchguy eh di transfer mo sa kanya matres mo! kung pwede lang ba eh no? nyahahahaha.