MI BEBE, A GAY? KID ME NOT!
Brother and I were quickly glancing on some photos that I took of Nico and my niece Chesca while the two were playing basketball at our garage on a weekend when out of nowhere, brother requested me to review back to some photos slowly as he noticed something of Nico (daw). “Ate, teka, balik mo nga dun. Tingnan mo oh, parang bading si Nico sa mga photos,” brother jokingly said but with sense of sarcasm. “Hmm, oo nga ano. Pero teka, uy hindi ha! Hindi bading ang anak ko,” said me with much objection matched with rising eyebrows.
Fast forward to the night of Saturday, I told Hubby of brother’s comment and showed him the photos. Hubby wasn’t bothered at all seeing the photos and thought they were cute. Tactless me however insisted talking about brother’s comment and threw my favorite “What if?” question so as we may discuss.
“What if our son is gay? How would we parents take it?” Hubby wasn’t in the mood to talk about it at all. It was such a long day and he thought that my crazy mind is up and running again (like he said it has always been) but since I insisted, he just said he’ll never know if he could take it and might as well impose a sanction that his Dad used to threaten him and his siblings with: “Ay naku, malaman kong bakla yang si Nico, ibibitin ko yan ng patiwarik!” “Sobra ka naman. Eh kung yun nga ang sexual preference nya eh, may magawawa ka ba, aber?” said me with laughs on the side. Hubby laughed back and we laughed together, talked of something else then called it a night.
Not that I am bothered or taking brother’s comment so seriously but the thought of having a gay son haven’t really crossed my mind. I have nothing against the topics of being gay, lesbian, sexual preferences, homosexuals, third sex, and the likes (I have gay and lesbian friends actually, and so I treasure their friendship) but you see, as a parent, hypothetically speaking I have a son or daughter who sexually prefers to be the other way around, the situation will be really difficult for me to understand.
You see, the moment Hubby and I knew we were having a boy back when we were pregnant, it was a usual parent’s reaction to plan/envision a dream in mind for a child like where he will go to school, what course he would pursue, the people we would like him to meet, etcetera etcetera. In fact, the very thought of thinking a good name for a yet unborn child is part of the parent’s instinct to envision a good future for their child. But like a quotation by Anne Frank on having childrean: “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands”. And with that said, a parent like me, like us, must accept whole-heartedly.
Now going back to Nico and the photos, never in my wild imagination I’ve thought of that in my head. Sure Nico loves to sing and dance along to those countless TV commercial jingles (current fave are Kim Chiu’s Kering keri and Knorr’s Makulay ang Buhay sa Gulay), but sure too he loves playing train train choo choo and of course, basketball. And did I mention Nico already got a crush in school? (Hope Cookie’s Adi and Mitch’s Deye are not jealous, hehe). And the crush is a girl, okay, just to make that clear!
And oh, you might be curious about the photos I am talking about? See for yourselves and tell me: Mi bebe, looks like a gay? Oh please, kid me not!
25 responses so far
nalungkot ako for myself, ndi na tayo sabay 
when...
I also have a few gay and lesbian friends and I treasure their friendship. Pero syempre iba na pag anak na ang pinaguusapan.
I agree parents can teach, give and guide as much but it’s the child who makes the decisions at the end.
Thanks for sharing the photos. I was curious about them. I guess candid shot #5 caught that awkward-looking hand movement but the rest of the shots make him appear as a typical boy wanting to impress a girl.
Ah ganun hah…what’s the name of that girl who stole Nico’s heart? SINO SIYA? Dyok lang
I don’t see what the big fuss was all about. Judging from the pics, Nico looks like a kid having fun. That’s it. Can’t really say how your brother managed to bring up the gender issue but personally, I can’t see it just by looking at your pics. In any case, kung sakali mang magkaroon ng sudden gender swing ang mga bata, I think we shouldn’t really make too much of it. Nowadays, society is very permissive when it comes to gays, lesbians, homos, heteros, trans..whatever. Many of them have become very productive, if not renowned, citizens of the world. It shouldn’t be about gender preference, it should be about what they make of their future that should matter. Whaddyatink
Rach, it was Nico’s intention to pose as candid and as naughty like that in photo #5.
yes, I agree, iba na syempre pag anak ang pinag-uusapan. and if ever that happens to my child, the situation would be hard to accept at first, but a mother’s love for a child is boundless and unconditional, so that should lead a Mom to understanding and supporting her child in the end.
hi Cookie! the name of the girl is Tisha. apparently, Nico has been sharing with the girl his crayons and pencils and erasers since they are seatmates. pero di bale, mas lamang pa rin si Adi dahil mas malaman sya at mas malaki pa ang hita
I totally agree. Gender preference should not be an issue at all. it used to be a stigma, but I think even our very conservative country (that was before, hehe) is now very open and permissive of them. and I agree more when you said it is what future they make that matters.
Bago ako magcomment about being “gay”, anong description nung girl? Aabangan namin ni Deye sa kanto hahaha! Juk!
San dyan ang mukhang bading? ‘La naman ah? But if we are going to talk about having a “gay” child, hmmm… I’d love that kung di na mapipigilan, peksman! Madami na din namang successful na tulad nila and I don’t see anything wrong kung maging ganun man.
Saka Feng, maganda si Nico pag nagkataon ha? Uy joke lang hehehe!
hi Mitch
naku, tiga dun lang si Tisha sa may kabilang street, hehe. ang sabi ng brother ko, yun daw photo #s 3 and 5, para daw bading si Nico dun.
For me naman, OK lang naman sa akin kung ang feel at trip nya talaga sa buhay eh maging bading. Pero siguro, made depress muna ako for a while pero later on matatanggap ko rin.
re: Nico as pretty girl—ay naku Sis, di ko ma-imagine!
Naku ha, malaki pala ang lamang ni Trisha hahaha! Abot-kamay si Nico.
Wag mo na lang ilagay sa isip mo yan, at kung makitaan mo man sya ng senyales in the future, let it be, para wag syang maging ala-Rustom Padilla.
Feng, I don’t see any signs of your son being gay in the photos. Siempre I could empathize with you on this thought since I have a son too. But if ever… I remember my officemate saying that it’s better to have a gay son because he could be an architect, a hairdresser, a fashion designer etc. than a lesbian daughter because she’ll most likely be a bus conductor (but then again she could also be a talk show host like Ellen Degeners or Rose O’Donell
Mitch, wag kang mag-alala at bantay sarado sa akin si Nico at Trisha, hahaha. At naku, wag naman sana mag-ala Rustom.
Hi Geri! I hope brother dear could read all of your comments here, para hindi na ako asarin pa! Thanks.
Gay friends that I know are creative, in fact they work in the advertising industry while the only lesbian friend I have was a varsity player of Women’s volleyball back in College and she’s been a consistent MVP in school tournaments. As Cookie stressed earlier, doesn’t really matter whatever sexual preference children choose, but what future they make for themselves. Pero just the same, tayong parents want them to grow up they way we envisioned them to be. At naku, hindi ko rin ma-imagine na maging gay si Evan ha! He’s too handsome to be one.
Hi Feng,
Thanks for dropping by my blog earlier and for the greetings. Happy birthday to you too. October ka rin pala.
As for sexual preference, sa atin kasi sa Pinas mahirap maging bading kasi iba talaga ang tingin ng mga tao. I have good friends who are partners and they are decent people to invite over for dinner. I don’t really care what they do in their bedroom as long as they are not flaming or going around naked in the streets just to prove a point.
It’s also that we parents expect to be grand parents somehow. Eh paano na kung they prefer their kabaro? It’s a bit difficult from me as a parent but I will have to accept and make more babies so that I can have grand kids to spoil
.
Hi there KK! you’re very much welcome. haha, very very near lang talaga ang birthdates natin. am not looking forward to it though, dreaded day kasi.
I agree with the cultural factor on treatment of gays or those in the so called third sex in Pinas. It used to be a not-so cultural norm, but I believe society is slowly leaning towards being more open to them.
Aba eh, kung ako, gusto ko rin namang makaranas later on na magka grandsons and granddaughters.
Hindi noh!
Alam mo ako, naisip ko na din yan (syempre i don’t mention it to the husband at baka magwala. hahaha). Pero ayoko! Please Lord wag naman. Hahaha
hay naku Kel, kahit ako, hindi ko ma-imagine na maging girlash si Nico. at naku naman, natural sa mga Tatay ang magwala pag nalaman nilang ang unico hijo nila eh hindi pala trip ang kotse kotsehan, instead barbie doll pala ang gusto. LOL.
Hi Feng! Hindi naman mukhang bading si Nico dun sa mga pics. Mas bading pa itsura ni Andre dun sa isang pose nya, i’ll post it in my blog later. Tingnan mo ha.
Anyway on the gender issue, eto naman sa akin lang ha. Based from the Bible kasi, God disapproves of all homosexual acts (Romans 1:18-27). It does not change despite the permissiveness of the society nowadays. So it would be really emotionally painful for us as parents kung maging ganun yung anak namin.
naku Nice, sana nababasa ito ng brother ko, lagot sya sa akin! re: Andre’s pics, sige sige, will look forward to it. na curious daw ba ako oh?
I honor your belief Nice. kaya nga, sobrang ma de depress ako kung “sakali lang” na iba ang sexual preference ni Nico. at naku, wag naman sana.
Feng, re the current commercial song-and-dance, my son Julian hates the Kering-keri. When I asked him why, kasi daw maarte yung girl.
You are right, we may be able to accept friends who are gay or lesbians pero ibang usapan na kapag sa anak.
Ang napansin ko sa picture? Me net pa ang bola, LOL!
T. Julie, ahaha, si Nico naman love na love yung commercial na yun, crush daw nya si Kim Chiu!
It may be easy for us to know of parents who have gay or lesbian kids, pero hypothetically we have the same, parang di ko kakayanin at first!
hahaha, oo nga ano, may net pa ang bola, pero yung basket, walang net. LOL.
[…] recent post reminds me of one pose B.boy did which was captured by the camera. My officemates were teasing me […]
ang cute naman ni Nico.. hindi naman mukha bading ah..
eh sa ganun ang kumpas ng kamay nya e.. hihih my brother is the rose in our family… we’re 4 girls and he’s the only male. they thought that he will be a gay kse nga malamya kumilos mas boy pa ako.. but it never happen.. guy na guy sya until now. so minsan dahil malamya or feminine e magiging bakla.. 
thanks amore
eh naku, yung movements nga ng kamay (kesyo malantik daw) ang indication na baka daw bading, sabi ng brother ko.
your brother is a living proof na hindi porke lamya kumilos eh bading na diba? and I encounter a lot males na mas vanidosa pa sa mga babae, grabe sa pa-facial, pa hair relax, foot spat atbp. hindi naman sila bading.
better late than never..
i remember lang a relative once questioned whether or not my son was gay. he was 1-2 yo pa lang non. feeling niya yata ang lamya kumilos. hindi na lang ako kumikibo pero im like, hello, baby pa ang anak ko.
ngayon, im pretty sure my son is not gay. even that relative never mention it anymore. - that is kung kilos at pagkakaroon ng crush sa babae ang pagbabasehan. we’ll never really know naman until theyre old enough to determine their sexual preference diba. at that point, siguro we’ll just cross the bridge when we get there.
and oh, i dont see anything gay in your son’s photos. cute ngasiya e! yan ba yung dala mo nung lunch natin? oh my god, how time flies!
ladycess, I agree. it’s too early to tell kung gay or hindi coz they’re too young. not unless na maka afford ng mag-confess ang bata at aminin that he is indeed a gay.
like you, I’ll just cross the bridge when I get there. at naku, wag naman po please lang. It’ll break my heart, promise!
First off, judging from the pics I did not see any “gay-ness” in there. Maybe I’m missing something but I have no idea where she got the “gay” vibe from the pics.
Secondly, I do have gay relatives and have nothings against them too but if one or both of my sons were, I would have the same reaction as you did. One of my close friends suspects that her son is gay (he’s 7) and it is breaking her heart.
I agree, cross the bridge when you get there.
(((((hugs)))))
greymom, hugs and kisses back to you.
i assume your friend must have been so depress right now. pero for a 7 year old, maybe it’s too early pa rin to arrive at a conclusion. naku, eh kung pwede lang tayo ang pumili ng gender preference nila, eh bakit hindi, di ba? oy, ingat ka, you have two boys pala! 