CHOOSING BETWEEN FAMILY VS. WORK? OR HAVING THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
No book has yet been written in praise of a woman who let her husband and children starve or suffer while she invented even the most useful things, or wrote books, or expressed herself in art, or evolved philosophic systems.
–Anna Garlin Spencer, Woman’s Share in Social Culture, 1912
How many times shall I ponder so deep on the quote above and say unto myself that I shouldn’t feel so guilty for having to juggle both motherhood and career?
Over the last few weeks, despite being so occupied with both family and work-related concerns, still, there was enough space to seriously weigh and weigh options and its pros and cons and decide on a pressing concern that has been bothering me for months—choosing between family and work.
The longing of being a stay-at-home Mom, God knows it was a long time dream. And when the dream finally came into reality, in an instance I least expect it to happen, there I realized it was not really the dream I exactly dreamt of. Even as I forced myself to go blind, I see the need to be honest to myself for I know in my heart where I am truly happy. And true enough, I’ve came with a decision by choosing not either one of them—but by embracing and loving them both.
A teaching in the Gospel says: “You cannot serve two masters at the same time”. Literally, I should have listened. But then again reading between the lines, I’d like to believe that neither family nor work are my masters–both are complementary to me and sources of my strength and my inspiration. Both worlds give me a sense of belonging, fulfillment and contentment, and most importantly, it is with the two opposing worlds, I feel so loved.
It is with my Nico that I certainly feel so complete as a person, as woman, especially. It is with him I’ve learned to give unconditional love—that is, starting a love affair with an unborn child unconscious of the fact that his innocence still cannot reciprocate. It is with him I am inspired to be the best I can be, knowing he’ll be proud of me and that he’ll soon emulate.
However, it is with work too that I realized I am not a Mom alone, that I can discourse still over non-baby related matters despite 100 percent concentration on learning how to perfect diapering a baby. It is with work too that find another side of me—a side of me who wishes to hone creativity through a continued passion for writing.
For both worlds, there are days that are great and there are times too when days are not so great. But having the best and the worst of both, I know my in my heart I’ll be most happy. 
14 responses so far
Congrats, congrats… I am so happy for you. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll...
hmm… i’d rather make a post. pahiram ng inspirasyon ha?
anyway, follow your heart. do whatever you feel you have to do.
I have always thought of being a working mom but i can’t bear the thought of leaving my daughter to a yaya alone, paranoid ako eh, hehe. I told myself, not until pwede na sya magsumbong. But then I thought, maybe I can have the best of both worlds if I would put up a small business kaya until now nag iisip pa din ako what business should I venture into, something that I can run while I’m at home.
Think about it and do whatever makes you happy. Goodluck!
Since you are already pondering about it, you are already working towards attaining having the best of both worlds. Deep in our mommy hearts, we know what is best. Follow that gut feeling. Just remembering Nico now just made me smile.
go where your heart goes.. in chemistry, we always have to balance the equation to have the best reaction, i think everybody has to do that to get equilibrium.. knowing that each has its own equilibrium point..
Hi Feng, my unsolicited advice, just follow what your heart desires. You’ll see everything will turn out ok. Goodluck.
hi Cess!
go ahead with the inspiration, will be looking forward to that post of yours. 
re: follow your heart– I am and me hopes it’s for the best. 
re: your plan to put up a business: I’m sure God will lead you to the venture where your passion exactly is.
thanks Len for the well wishes
hi Noemi.
thanks for the affirmation. it really helps not to feel guilty at all with words of reassurance from Mommy friends such as you.
hello Analyse! balancing work and family life sure is a challenge. but with proper time management, attaining an equilibrium of both will successfully be achieved. thanks for the advice.
and thanks for the advice. sure I am following what my heart says. 
hi Rowena. thanks for the visit.
all the best on your decision Feng. There are moms who can have career and still care for their families very well. I think the key word is balance and finding a work that will enable us to take care of our families. Knowing our priorities also help.
Pray for God’s guidance that you my reach the decision in accordance to his will.
A happy mom makes for a great mom.
Mothering and a career have been known to mix well, with the proper support systems.
You already know what you want to do. I’m sure you’ll reap the rewards from both worlds. Afterall you’re not just a devoted mother, you’re also a conscientious worker.
salamat ng marami Nice! I agree, balance of both is the key. am thankful enough because I have a job that allows me growth and at the same time understands my personal concerns.
encouragement from work combined with all the support from Hubby should make everything fine. 
and I so agree annamanila. ehem, speaking from experience po.
hi auee, thanks so much. kataba ng puso yang sinabi mo. it inspires me more to go along the path I’ve loved to do.
Feng, you know yourself best and you know what is good for you and your family. I wish you wisdom to choose what you think is right and good,
thanks so much T.Julie
Just do what you think is for the best at kung san ka masaya, yun ang importante! Di ba? Di ba?
hi Mitch! at syempre, dun ako kung saan ako happy, sa Jollibee! hehe, ndi, joke! yes, definitely I am so so happy with the WAHM/part time SAHM set up.