AWARDS FROM BLOGGER FRIENDS AND A COMPROMISE OFFER AT WORK THAT BROUGHT CONFUSION ON MY SAHMING
A long time ago (LOL), Julie and Mitch awarded me with the Rockin’ Girl Blogger Award and honestly, I am very much flattered. The exciting feeling haven’t totally sunk into my nerves yet when a few weeks ago, Connie, the legendary icon in the Pinoy Blogworld and one of a few of my idols in the Blogsphere of course, handed me too with the Thinking Blog Award. And their reasons are almost one and the same:
Teacher Julie said: Feng Guillermo-Brum of From Dusk till Dawn. Feng, you truly rock! Leaving your corporate office to be a stay-at-home-mom is no mean feat. Being a mother who religiously follow-through the development of your son, I salute you. You rock, girl!
Mitch said: Feng of From Dawn Till Dusk - She deserves this award for the recent decision she just made - on being a SAHM.
And Connie said: I now pass the tag to … … Feng (a brand new SAHM) …. whom I feel deserve the Thinking Blog Award as well …
My, what more can I say? The feeling is just so overwhelming that I just wanted to write a few thoughts to express my sincerest appreciation. Having an on and off connection with the Blogsphere and with Blog friends lately, it just feels great knowing that people appreciates and continue to cheer me on as I adjust through my recent domesticity.
But do I really deserve the awards one hundred percent? I owe everyone an explanation.
Since the last few weeks last two months day I said that I am a SAHM, I realized I spoke too soon. Too soon, if I may say, because I should have settled everything first with the organization where I am [still] working for, before I finally say that I am a certified/officially a SAHM. Two weeks after the SAHM announcement, I returned to work with the intention to inform the Office that I’ll be resigning, and eventually to turnover some pending workloads. I’ve anticipated that colleagues in the workplace would have different sets of reactions for my drastic decision. “Ay Feng, pag-isipan mo yang mabuti. Sayang naman ang item mo dito sa opisina”, “Ngayon ka pa magre-resign, kung kelan may increase na tayo”, “Huwag ka na muna mag-resign, hintayin na lang muna natin ang rationalization, malay mo ma-promote ka pa”, etcetera, etcetera. Note-worthy to peculiar reactions and unsolicited advices, I have encountered them all in the organization. But nobody had succeeded enough in persuading me to change my mind. Not until Boss talked to me heart to heart and offered me a compromise deal that brought much confusion on my part.
You see, Boss said he understood my reasons for resigning. “Feng, you don’t need to explain because I understand. My Mom, she raised us her six kids, on a full time basis. She was also a SAHM. And I think that’s explains why we were successful in our careers because our Mom was there to always guide us,” Boss said. “But you know Feng, nanghihinayang ako sa item mo at sa opportunities mo sa organization. Malay mo naman Feng, makatagpo ka someday ng trustworthy na Yaya para sa anak mo,” he said then telling me a story of his own experiences with kasambahays. “Ganito na lang Feng, kung ang problema ay hindi ka makakapasok regularly because you have to attend to your son’s needs especially now that he’s schooling, then I’ll discuss this to the management and give you an exemption to regularly report for work. You can report at anytime convenient to you, that’s fine with me. Just don’t give up your item, because sayang yan,” he said. Our talk was quite short, as brief and as direct when Boss gathered all the staff for a meeting just to officially inform everyone that I’ll be resigning really soon. “At that, whatever decision Feng makes, everyone should respect it,” that was the last that Boss said.
Short and direct as the meeting and one-on-one talk may seem, truth is, it’s an honor knowing that Boss views my contribution in our little team of high importance. And honestly, I admit, the offer brought much confusion on my part as the deal would give me the convenience and the opportunity to fulfill my roles as a Mom to Nico while at the same time find fulfillment still at work. However too, I was trying to read between the lines the statements and the compromise deal that Boss offered. I know he will fight for my item, no doubt about that. But what kept me from thinking though was how others in the workplace would take the compromise deal, most especially the people from HR and Personnel who are anticipated to cite zillions of Civil Service rules when that the deal will be put to discussion. And just as I have anticipated it when Boss proposes the atypical working scheme, HR and Personnel people will just reject it and reason: “No way, it will just set precedent to others”.
As of this writing, Boss and I haven’t talked on the finality of the deal, if ever it will still push through. I’ve signified that I’ll be giving the resignation letter soon (31 August actually was the date I said I’ll hand him the letter), copy furnished the HR and the Personnel people. But Boss told me to hold it back until he’s able to have our compromise deal approved by the management.
So until now, I’m still reporting for work, not as regular as I used to though. And much as I am supposedly only on turnover of workloads already, it seems like there’s a never-ending turnover going on as Boss instructed me still to accomplish some more projects for the Office. I don’t know if Boss was just playing deadma or just pretending to have an amnesia of some sort that he seemed to forget what we’ve discussed back in July. And Jun was already getting impatient and consistent in saying, “What? Projects and more projects again? Eh hindi mo na siguro problema ang mga yan. Bahala na dapat sila dyan. Kung wala pa ring action si Boss sa plea mo, biglain mo na lang sila ng irrevocable resignation, tapos!” And for Nico, hay, I just can’t describe how guilty it is promising and promising him that I’ll be there for him 24/7, for good.
These concerns said, as of this writing my mind is running around like crazy thinking of the best decision, and my heart torn between family and work.
If you were in my shoe, what would you do?
12 responses so far
Congrats, congrats… I am so happy for you. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll...
take the offer!! it’s a good one
you really think so Mommy Cookie? I do hope Boss and I can finally talk about it within the week.
Be sure the offer still stands. If not, you can always work at home since you are a writer, there are a lot of writing opportunities. Go problogging,
noted po T.Julie.
Kung si boss ko ang mag-offer ng ganyan, I’ll grab it.
I’ve been thinking these past few days nga to work on half days kasi ayaw ko din namang magresign, kaso I don’t know how boss will take it. Syempre madaming maaapektuhan kasi mag-isa lang ako dito eh. Kaso ampanget din naman na lagi akong absent if things like these happen.
Haaaaay ewan ko… ang gulo!
Hi Mitch, I’ve been thinking about the offer since Boss brought it up at naku, sumasakit na ulo ko sa kaiisip kung ano ba talaga?
if your Boss is a Boss who understands, baka naman pwedeng humirit ng consecutive half days or VL or SL.
pangit man tingnan, ay no choice dahil Deye needs you back at home. hope you find a good arrangement with Boss.
blessed me coz my Boss is very very supportive of us, esp. the working Moms. hay, i remember: indefinite leave during my first to second trimester at pregnancy, then another five months maternity leave (Boss understands I have a baby with a heart issue to take care of) and then frequent lates, undertimes, absences, VL, SL, lahat na, but still Boss understands. that’s why I’m reciprocating everything he’s done with much much hardwork sa lahat ng assignments given to me. that’s the only way I can give back the favor.
Mabait din naman si boss ko otherwise sa dami ng absences ko matagal na akong sinibak dito hahaha! Kaso dahil na din sa dami ng naitulong nya sa amin from the time I got pregnant, nahihiya na akong humirit pa… Haaay! Bahala na tyempo lang ako…
Siguro naman your Boss will understand you as much. Good luck sa iyo Mitch.
ganyan din ako dati, nahihiya humirit, pero lakas loob na lang sa pagsasabi kay Boss ng mga excuses. LOL.
I’ll grab it, feng. I hope the corporate practise in Pinas changes soon regarding working parents. Here in the UK they’ve only just introduced measures to allow for flexible working times for parents. Although it’s still a looonnngg way to go from being totally useful ha.
I work flexi-time of sorts. And you know according to most people & big companies who allow such schemes, they get the best of the deal. The company retains a valued employee who is always eager to prove him/herself and is almost always putting in 110% because they wouldn’t want to take work home.
I hope it works out for you. I can almost feel your hesitation.
Alam mo, Feng, at the heart of the matter is your clear intention that your son should come first especially at his age. And that doesn’t make you less deserving of any award or recognition — as a mom and as a blogger.
You have the best of both worlds — an opportunity for professional growth without compromising your intention of being there for your son.
hi auee! good for you for having such supportive employer! and I totally agree and am speaking from personal experience. great motivation to exert more effort at work often comes from Bosses who are more understanding, and more open-minded with their subordinates. and often too, it results to loyalty and confidence/trust.
here in Pinas, specifically for Civil Servants, rules on flexi work times are yet to be incorporated in certain Civil Service rules though I think it’s going to lean towards that end too.
hi Connie!
Hubby and I often talked of the matter, and sometimes it seems we’re going on circles na lang of the pros and cons of being a working Mom vs. a SAHM. Must I deny and get blind of my happiness being at work, the more I am convinced to still stay on.
thanks for the advices. those were really helpful. tama ka, it’s a mother’s intention to prioritize her child above everything else that matters most.
[…] in me since at that time too, I was on the verge of deciding to finally be a stay-at-home Mom, only to take it back later when sooner I realized I’m more happy in choosing to be a working Mom still after all […]