A PRESCHOOLER’S LACK OF INTEREST TO WRITE AND A MOM’S PARANOIA
On the heels of Nico suffering from a stomach flu, Jun and I still managed to attend the first Parents and Teachers’ Meeting at Nico’s school last Saturday. Jun was hesitant at first in attending the meeting mainly because Nico’s not feeling so well. But I still insisted that we go as the meeting is expected to last for an hour or two and anyway, the school is just within the subdivision where we reside, so leaving Nico with the new kasambahay for a while would not be much of a problem.
I really insisted that we attend because I wanted to consult the Preschool Coordinator as well as Nico’s Teacher regarding some school concerns that I’d like to be enlightened, particularly about the progress of Nico as far as writing skills are concerned.
I am not sure if this is another stage Mommy’s paranoia but, you see, I am very concerned over at how Nico lazily behaves whenever I asked him to write on his workbooks all by himself. Say for example, a certain exercise in Math that requires him to encircle all the objects that are colored blue. He can identify right away where the blue-colored objects are, but when asked to encircle them, he just won’t and would instead grab my hand and prod me to hold the pencil together with him to write on the exercise worksheet.
Jun and I have tried so many tricks just to convince him to write on his own, but I guess our persuasion powers aren’t enough that we always end up escorting him through his scribbling. And we had no other choice because if we didn’t, he’s homeworks remain undone. Which so puzzled us because whenever I checked on the sit work exercises in his books (and would you believe it, he had perfect scores and stars for all the exercises in the five subjects since the school year began), it has his own scribbling!
So during the one-on-one consultation with the Preschool Coordinator and the Teacher, I really took the opportunity to ask the questions and get honest answers that has been puzzling us for weeks. “Teacher, si Nico po ba talaga ang nag-a answer ng mga sit work exercises nya?” I said. “Ay opo, si Nico po talaga ang nag-a answer ng mga worksheets nya Mommy. Sa katunayan nga po, siya pa nga ang laging unang natatapos na magsagot ng mga worksheets. Bakit po?” says the Teacher. “Kasi po pag sa bahay, ayaw po nyang magsulat sa mga worksheets nya. Hindi po namin alam kung tinatamad lang or wala pa talaga syang skill magsulat”, I explained. The Teacher remarked the same answer and said it amused her to know that Nico’s not writing at all at home, because inside the classroom he’s very active at writing and he’s keen on listening to her Teacher’s instructions and follows them diligently. “Baka naman Mommy naeenganyo ang anak ninyo sa mga classmates nya sa pagsusulat, and since mag-isa lang sya sa bahay, tinatamad na syang magsulat. Hindi po kaya?” the Preschool Coordinator said. I’m speechless afterwards and wasn’t even sure what to answer back.
I’m haunted by my “what if’s” for the nth time. What if the Teacher and the Preschool Coordinator were lying and that they are just made those positive remarks in a way to assure us that they are doing well in teaching the kids in school. If only I can peak through Nico’s classroom, then I can get hints. Unfortunately, peaking in through classes were allowed only during the first week of school so an on-site investigation is definitely not possible. And whenever I ask Nico of the same, he would just resist telling me about it and instead say, “Mommy, I know how to write, OK” matching it with his big and wide eyes open faced to me as if he wanted to make it clear he’s not fooling me.
If my thinking would be of a paranoia, it was even prolonged when my Mom accompanied by the niece Chesca saw me and Nico doing the assignments when they visited us yesterday. Apparently, they saw me struggling to convince Nico to trace the letter A on a worksheet of his Writing Book. As always, Nico’s Lola sounded so alarming as she said Chesca learned writing his own name at age 2. And I could attest to that because I saw with two eyes as my pretty little niece easily scribbles her name and all the letters of the Alphabet and oh my, she’s just a month’s shy to turning 2 at that time.
So before I turned into further panic and get crazy over thinking why my son won’t effort to write at home (or was it even in school?), I got myself some brief researches just to reassure me with of my somewhat helplessness. With Developing Writing Skills among Preschoolers as the key phrase, here’s to put in verbatim important points I’ve researched. Google, thank you for always helping me out.
- Writing Skill: A Definition. Learning to write asks children to use multiple physical and mental processes in one effort. Writing combines many skills and relies on development in areas not specific to writing. It requires fine motor skills -or the ability to use muscles in the fingers and hands; attention to focus for periods of time; memory to generate ideas and retrieve letters and appropriate words; and language to be able to express themselves. (the full text of the article here)
- Learning to Write is part of a literacy skill stage. Listening, Comprehending, Speaking, Reading, then eventually to Writing (the full text of the article here)
- At what age do children learn to write? As with any cognitive, social-emotional, and physical skill, children develop writing skills at their own pace and within their own time frame. What is considered normal development will vary widely across different children. There are broad window periods during which sets of skills should develop; however your child at just over 3 1/2 years is well under the age at which one should become concerned over a lack of interest or progress in the development of writing skills. (the full text of the article here)
- What parents can do to enhance a child’s learning skill. Do activities that develop a child’s control of the small muscles of the hands (fine motor skills) allow children to make the precise movements necessary for forming letters and improve hand/eye coordination. (Samples of writing worksheet activities are here)
Whew. Now, these researches gave me enough sigh of relief. Err, so much of my paranoiac moments.
22 responses so far
nalungkot ako for myself, ndi na tayo sabay 
when...
I don’t think the school officials would tell you your son could write even if he couldn’t. Maybe Nico just has more fun things to do at home than write. =) As your kid grows older, you will find out that they would rather do other things at home than study. Then we can exercise our roles as parents to the max.
Hi Feng!! I too went through a stage of paranoia when Gaby first went to school. She didn’t have any homework but I tried to convince her to do some worksheets and workbooks at home. Similarly, she refused and would throw a fit when I forced her. Finally, I just gave up. When consultation time came, I asked her teachers if she was lagging behind. Hindi naman daw. Ganun din ang sinabi sa akin. She just performed better in a school setting. Today she’s ok. I tried to find learning activities that were more fun and now she enjoys doing things at home. Even Adi is enjoying na din. Check out National Bookstore’s poster section. They have these huge Barney and Dora posters that are erasable after you write on them. They have letters, numbers, shapes, colors. Ganun-ganun lang enjoy na sila
Angel, that too was exactly my thought after going to some more researches and advices from friends. maybe Nico wants a break from these worksheets for a while, thus, he was too lazy to pay attention to what we ask of him. and that was my bad! thanks for the visit.
Kongkong, then schooling must have been so fit for Gab and Adi as they both perform better in school. you know, I went through an online quiz of some sort re: what school philosophy is fit for my son, and my, it was an eye opener. here, i’m copy pasting the result:
“A projects-based approach might be best for your child. The goal of these programs is to let children learn by experimentation, exploration, and collaboration.”
the school where Nico is going to right now is obviously a traditional school with all the worksheets and everything, though it claims to be combining the Montessori and Reggio Emilia approaches. a little regrets on our side, so we’re really supplementing with some more. medyo sumobra lang yata ng konti, so now we’re taking one step at a time, masyado na akong paranoid.
thanks for the visit Mommy Kong. 
and yup, I have those posters at Natl Bookstore too. fave place yan ni Nico.
Feng, writing is one of the last to be developed in children because it entails a lot of skills. You can probably have him do other activities to supplement his developing fine motor skills like beading, lacing, squeezing soft toys, finger painting, and coloring to develop eye-hand coordination. Writing with a big chalk on a driveway if e does not have asthma is good too.
hope you have fun!
acknowledged here T. Julie!
actually, paranoia came first and later lang that I realized there’s no need to panic at all. my bad! right now, he’s just enjoying his time coloring may it be in paper, and worst, sometimes on our furniture and walls! but rarely it is that he’s touching his pencils to do some scribblings. well, I guess that’s OK for now, at least the sitworks in school are good enough as proofs that he’s developing his writing skills. 
Wow, I’m learning some I might be able to relate to when Isaac grows a bit more.
Anyway, Nico is a smart kid. I’m sure he’s doing fine and your worries are just little mommy panics. Perfectly justifiable, of course. Mommy eh.
Hi Feng! As I read about your paranoia, I am reminded of my own, hehe. Vera had speech delay. To cut the long story short, we ended up going to occupational and speech therapy sessions. But when she turned 4, she suddenly bloomed speech-wise, English pa nga eh. Of course the therapies helped a lot in improving her attention span and fine motor skills.
At least your paranoia also led you to learn so much more.
hay naku, my son is in prep and pahirapan ding pagsulatin. pero pagdrowingin mo yan - kahit maghapon ok lang.
hi May! thanks for the reassurance!
hehe, being a Mom is always our valid excuse to be paranoid at most times kahit na there’s no need to. 
re: Vera, looking back, you must be laughing na lang of those fearful times you thought she cannot converse. yun pala eh, Englishera pa ang big girl mo, at panalo pa ang mga hirits nya. 
hello Chats! thank goodness for the Internet we Moms can always have substantive answers to questions that always bugs us.
ladycess, hello there! ay pareho pala si Ipan Jr. and Nico, mas gusto pang mag drawing at mag-color kaysa magsulat. hay, hirap nito, kahit anong reminder namin for him to color just on paper, pati walls namin sa house, immune na sa doodlings nya.
Hi Feng. I guess Nico and Yohan are learning similar things in school. Nasa writing stage na din si Yohan. Very helpful yung white board na padala ng Tita nya sa kanya. The white board has blue-red-blue stripes like those found in writing notebooks. Enjoy sya using it so that’s where we practice his writing.
Misan tamad sya to do his homework. He would reason out “only in school. not at home…” I still manage to convince him to do his assignnments.
Good luck to Nico. I’m sure he’s doing great inside the classroom as the teacher said. Maybe at home he just wants to take it easy.
hahaha! Like Nico, i hate writing too when i was young. We have those worksheets too before pero hirap na hirap ako. Ayaw ko kasi yung paulit ulit na sinusulat yung letters or numbers. I don’t see any sense on doing it. Baka ganun din feeling ng son mo.
But i love drawing and coloring.
At least yun hindi repetitive. Ngayon ako nagsisisi na di ako nag tyaga sa pagsulat. Ang pangit kasi ng handwriting ko.
Just continue encouraging him maybe he’ll learn to like it after a while.
hi Rach! talaga? I haven’t seen a white board with the blue-red-blue lines. ey, mukhang di available yan dito sa Pinas. pero pwede ko rin siguro ko yan gayahin, I’ll just draw blue and red lines using a permanent marker sa white board. writing on white boards I think is a good idea to teach kids how to write. pansin ko, Nico often prefer to write on the walls rather than sa paper.
hello there Nice. tama ka, hate talaga ni Nico ang writing, mas gusto nya mag-drawing at mag color lang. well, I guess, it’s only a phase, sooner (I hope), he’ll love writing too. thanks for the visit.
I’m not worried at all about Nico. Siguro may phase lang talaga na tinatamad ang mga bata. Pero di ba, magaling na siyang mag color even before he started school last June kaya huwag lang masadong mag worry Mommy Feng!
hi Roxie, thanks! oo nga eh, siguro talagang paranoid lang ang Mommy ni Nico at every bit of his unusual behavior/moves, laging worried.
since writing skill is developmental (goes with age) there’s really no need to worry. plus in our techno age and time, writing is the least skills we should worry about because WE can type, just like we all do here. writing is actually becoming out-of-date except for signatures..
Uy spot on tong topic mo. It helps me that Nico is a few months’ older than my son, you get to try out a number of things before we do
Like in the potty training.
Anyhu, sa writing it was the nursery staff who actually had concerns for Kelvin. See Kelvin is predominantly left-handed but when he’s eating or “scribbling” he interchanges between left & right. I never discourage him coz I used to have an ambidextrous classmate. Yung staff naman concern daw nya baka ma-impede yung development ni Kelvin. Kiniber ko na lang dahil I don’t really see how her concern can hold true as long as mapa-practise si Kelvin di ba?
BTW try mo kayang bilhan si Nico ng blackboard (I have one when I was a kid), and you can make it a game for the family di ba? Teaching etc. AY teka just read Rachel’s tip hehe Ganun din
“Baka naman Mommy naeenganyo ang anak ninyo sa mga classmates nya sa pagsusulat, and since mag-isa lang sya sa bahay, tinatamad na syang magsulat.”
I’m pretty sure the teachers weren’t pulling your leg, iba talaga ang behavior ng kids when they’re at home and at school/daycare. But still it’s good to try to encourage Nico to practice writing more. I think buying a whiteboard or blackboard could work. Good luck!
you’re tagged!
on learning at home, don’t push too hard.. he will learn when he’s ready.
i’ve got a tita who stopped working just recently, and she’s like discovering her kids on another limelight (her kids are both on their adolescent years). so she keeps on commenting on something about her kids, that this one is not studying that hard, that the other one is not that diligent, and so on and so forth.. now, the kids’ only wish is for her to get back to work hehehe… well, nico’s surely in another case, but just a reminder.
hey, check out the PMN groupmail, there will be an EB on Aug 30, hope to see more moms there, including you.
hi hailey! thanks for droppin by here! thanks for the advice. I sure hope Nico will discover the fun of writing sooner or later.
at this modern day in age where everything is typed in a keyboard, hindi nga malayong mangyari na maging lazy ang mga kids magsulat.
auee, and I pattern my Nico’s developments with that of the kids of other PMN mothers too. hmmm, pare-pareho yata tayo ng strategies on getting parenting tips ah.
nga pala, bilib ako sa Nursery staff nya ha, at sobrang concerned talaga for the kids in daycare. lucky lucky you for choosing a good daycare. they’re very rare nowadays (in Pinas). 
pansin ko nga iba ng trip ni Nico pag nasa bahay, parang bummer lang eh. pero pag Sunday evening na at nakita nyang pina-plantsa ang school uniform nya, eh excited na.
i agree with you auee, let the child be. anyway left handed or not, or writing using both hands, it’s a preference anyway. Kelvin will discover it on his own in time.
Christianne, thanks for the reassuring words. I sure hope too that there’s no conspiracy on their part.
analyse, thanks for the tag. eh, grabe ka, joke ko lang yon, tinutohanan mo naman. I’ll do all my pending tags tomorrow, promise.
LOL on your Tita, sana naman di mahalata ni Nico na paranoid ang Mom nya. which reminds me, I have to stop being one. sobra na rin eh.
Feng, Nico’s just a normal child - he just doesn’t like homeworks when he could spend his time playing. I hated homeworks too, who doesn’t haha
Good idea Feng. You’re right, you may use blue and red permanent marker on a white board. Then use white board marker for practicing writing. Di ko naisip yun. My fellow moms in school saw the board and said they wanted one too pero wala sila mahanap here. I’ll them to do it using your advice.
hey Geri. you hated homeworks and assignments too? ey, pareho tayo. now let me stop this paranoia now!
hi Rach! yes, the improvised white board with the red and blue lines should work well. am going to buy the materials in National Bookstore tomorrow. salamat for giving me brilliant ideas.