A TALE OF TWO KASAMBAHAYS (THE EX AND THE NEW)
It’s been almost three weeks since we terminated the services of Ness as Nico’s Yaya, but the after effects of her drastic demise in the house are still being felt up to now. Maybe it’s because we didn’t exert much effort to give a peaceful closure before she left the house.
But can she blame us? Time and again, we proved her acts of dishonestly and neglect for work through confirmations from our latest landline phone bill (which has numerous cellphone call charges aside from those that I discovered) and feedbacks from neighbors with whom Ness has outstanding debts due to habitual purchases of ukay clothes. And what’s worst, she left us hanging in the air that she didn’t bother contacting us of her whereabouts four days after her off from work. And take note, we called her so many times through the cellphone that we lent her but she kept on dropping our calls and not replying to our text messages.
And so without further hesitations, we decided to call it quits because we felt so fed up already with so much of her excuses. Fresh from a small gathering of families and relatives to remember my Dad’s first death anniversary, the first thing I did upon arriving home was to pack her things and keep them in a corner for her to pick up to a day I don’t know and didn’t have any hint when. Until Thursday (28 June) came that while Nico’s having his long afternoon nap, I heard her knocking at our doorsteps begging to explain her self and asking for another chance. I didn’t bother letting her inside the house to hear her explanations anymore. To me, that’s too much of her asking. Instead, I placed her things outside the house, demanded her to return the cellphone that we lent her (thankfully, she gave it back), and asked her to leave.
We were thankful enough to find a new kasambahay the following week after Ness left. And though we were kinda hesitating with the new helper (because she’s almost as young as Ness and somewhat the Yaya-type, not the Househelp-material), we’ve decided to give it a try and train her with how to dutifully do the household chores even if it meant starting from scratch again.
For the first week that she’s been with us and seeing her do the household chores (by the way, her name is Rizza of Carigara, Leyte), Jun had often shook his head secretly and commented how slowly the new househelp is getting used to and picking up the requisites of the work. “Hay naku, sobrang bagal kumilos, parang hindi yata sanay sa trabaho yan. Natutulungan ka ba dito sa bahay? Parang mas lalo ka pang napapagod eh,” Jun would often say to me. And the next thing you know, I would here him reminiscing and reciting never-ending litanies of how competent our ex kasambahay was compared with the new one. He was saying how Ness easily picked up our instructions and how reliable and efficient she was that even the non-nannying chores, we can count on her. In short, Jun was expecting the same standard also applies with the new kasambahay which I somewhat violently disagreed for I knew that it was wrong to compare the two in the first place.
The Ex and the New Kasambahay
Yes I admit, our ex-housemate (hehe, influenced by Pinoy Big Brother?), was very competent, and proven very reliable and efficient. But that’s because Ness already has an extensive experience with pamamasukan and the new househelp has little for she experienced working for just with her well-off relatives in the province. And if I may add too that for almost two years that Ness has been with us, I would say all of these traits of being competent, reliable and efficient have deteriorated as repeated abuse for privileges that she enjoys occurred at one instance after another. That said alone needs no further discussion or debate. Jun had no choice but to shut up. Period. 
Jun and I eventually agreed to give the new househelp an opportunity to learn the chores and how to do them efficiently. Anyway, if after a month or two and she still haven’t picked up the tricks of the trade, then maybe later, we can evaluate and take on the next steps. If and when the new helper leaves again or we decide not to let her stay for long in the house, we can always do the chores ourselves for the meantime and have another round of scouting for the next househelp. Anyway, my being a SAHM now and Jun’s being naturally domesticated of some sort (I tell you, he does the ironing of clothes so expert-like and he dresses-up window curtains like those in hotels) should not at all threaten nor affect our mutual understanding to share responsibilities in homemaking for our little family. Still, good luck to us!
19 responses so far
Congrats, congrats… I am so happy for you. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll...
Haha, impressive pala ang domestic skills ni Jun. Ako hopeless sa pag-plantsa!
How is Nico adjusting to Rizza, hindi naman niya hinahanap si Ness? Hope your family finds a new balance soon.
haha, Christianne, pareho tayo, paglabahin mo na ako, wag lang pagpapa-plantsa. ironing clothes talaga ang expertise ni Jun, kaya pag ako ang namamalantsa, napapakamot na lang sya ng head at sabay sabing: akin na nga yan, ako na mamamlantsa!
re: Nico’s adjustment with Rizza, so far so good naman, though i observe Nico is not that comfortable yet with her. baka naninibago lang, akala nya siguro may visitor lang kami sa house. eh hinahanap din nya si Ness, pero not as broken-hearted compared to when his loving Yaya left in January. we’re hoping Nico will adjust well without the ex-housemate.
Give her a chance. As I always say, di naman parepareho ang patakaran ng bawat bahay. Maybe she is not used to your system yet but hopefully she’ll pick it up. Pero tama din naman that if she still struggles after some time, maybe she’s not the right person for the job.
Good luck!!
naalala ko tuloy yung una kong househelp, mas gusto ko pa ako mag iron ng clothes kasi sayang lang kuryente parang walang nangyayari and like your new kasamabahay, super bagal kumilos but i think your new househelp should be given a chance, sana naman mag improve para you won’t have a hard time finding & training another one. goodluck
Naku buti pinalayas mo. Yung yaya ng kambal, parating tumatakas kapag wala kami sa bahay, ngayon lang sinumbong ng isa pa naming kasambahay. Umalis na rin siya, at di na bumalik. DI na makakabalik.
I like the term ‘kasambahay.’ Housemate? lol
I know how hard it is to find the right one who will stay and prove herself reliable. Slow is okay for me as long as sure, sensible, and mabait and gentle with the children.
I guess I have been lucky during my time .. with most kasambahay staying upwards of 15 years. I don’t give them high salaries but I guess I am gentle with them. Never raising my voice; my raised voice is dedicated to the children … lol.
Btw I call them my ’sekretarya’ at home. lol
Ambata pa nga ni Rizza. Di bale andyan ka naman to do the “toink toink on her head” joke!
Hi Feng, I do like the term kasambahay. I was never comfortable with the word “maid”. Congrats on weaning Nico and being a SAHM. I have a lot opf catch up reading to do!
Hi Feng! I can relate to your story. We have almost the same experience. My first yaya left last May and i’ve got a new one na super bagal kumilos. hehehe. I’ll write an entry about that on my blog too.
I admire your fairness and giving the new househelp a chance to prove herself.
Take care!
patience patience lang talaga. Each yaya is different . It’s better that they are trained by you so they pick the right practices. Maybe the new one has some positive traits that the ex doesn’t have. Work on that. It’s hard to train but it’s worth it in the end.
agree with you Mommy Kongkong. it’s but fair to give the kasambahay an equal chance to prover herself. if in time, she’s still struggling withe chores, aba eh, it’s time for the next diplomatic move.
len, etong bago naming kasambahay, magaling naman mag plansta, bilib ako. kaso super bagal lang talaga kumilos. or siguro hindi pa lang sanay. pero i’m seeing improvements with her this week.
ay naku Mars, may bago na namang update after this post. kahapon daw, tumawag sa bahay si Ness at ang tagal nilang magka-usap ni Nico. tapos sabi daw ni Ness, na mi-miss nya na si Nico. i hope it didn’t mean a hint na gusto nyang bumalik sa amin, pero parang ganun ang sense ko.
re: Yaya ng kambal, aba eh, member pa yata ng salisi at escapo gang yan eh. good thing at umalis na sya.
annamanila, i loved it when you said “secretaries” mo sa house. it gives them a certain of degree of some sort, well-respected, treated as family members. it’s true, when we’re out of the house, these kasambahays are really the house managers, right?
Mitchteryosa, Rizza is 18years old while Ness just turned 17 last Feb, but she was employed to us at 15years old. grabe, kabata ano. re: toink, toink, hehe mahirap na mag impose ng corporal punishment, baka ma bantay bata tayo nyan.
thanks so much geri for the well wishes, and yup, I too don’t like the term “maid”.
N!cE, alrightie, will wait for an entry in your blog. my Goggle Reader never fails to get the latest.
hi noemi. definitely agree with you on more patience and tiyaga with kasambahays. now, having the Ex and the New, i’ve proven that each of them is different ie. the Ex is very good at nannying but lousy most of the time, while the new, is still slow, but learning, but she’s very good at ironing clothes, folding the laundry neatly and cleaning the house.
we still got a long way to go, not halfway even, but the the constant training should give her a boost to do the chores properly.
Hahaha! Ok, give it another year 19 na sya nun, di na minor. :p Joke! Pinapatawa lang kita!
Mitch, hahah, oo nga, 1 year pa, pwede na mag-toink!
Good luck to you Feng. Much as I want to have a kasambahay, I don’t know if I would be able to leave the house with someone we don’t know. Would rather do things here, teach the children to help to make them more responsible. It is hard but we get by somehow.
Thanks for the well wishes Julie. I plan to do the same as you do, be totally independent on doing the chores, just the family members and no need for a kasambahay. It’s just that, as for the time being, an extra hand is much needed, lalo na ngayon, I have a very very young son, and instead of doing the “mundane” tasks, I’d rather spend those precious time with my son.
matututo din yan, bata pa e. mas mahirap turuan pag matanda na. and most of the time there in pinas, bata pa talaga yung makukuha mong kasambahay. here, you cannot pass for a kasambahay or a yaya if you don’t know anything about the job, the frenchies want their money’s worth.
I hope too Mommy Analyse, matuto din sya with the chores. our new kasambahay is learning day by day and for two weeks now, there have been improvements.
Sabi ng Tatay ko (every time we complain about a new help), kung skilled yan hindi mamamasukan yan. So talagang ganyan. The best help we had took 6 months of painful day-to-day orientation and even then talagang hindi pa din “ikaw” yan.
So fingers crossed that the new lass works out.
BTW my hubby is from Carigara. Dati pag nagpapahanap ako sa kanila ng help “wala na daw” hehe Lahat kasi gusto abroad na.
hi auee, our fathers have the same litanies. every time I complain about the former Yaya, he used to say the same concerns to me. hala, ang tagal yata ng six months training. hope we survived one another.
re: hubby mo from Carigara, ey my husband’s clan din, tiga duon sila.