MY FIRST FEW DAYS OF BEING A SAHM
The first three days of being a stay-at-home Mom was equally okay. Thankfully, I’ve been adjusting well with my new routine though I have to admit that much as being a working Mom is difficult, so is being a SAHM.
While there’s no need to extend my sleep time to as late as past 10 just to cook my son’s meals for the following day and yet rush to waking up as early as 5 in the morning the next day, I’ve been trying to still stick on a schedule so that I can accomplish my lists of To-Do’s for the day.
My Daily Routine on Schooldays
It feels good preparing a “quality” and “healthy” breakfast for the family and yet enjoying the early hours in the morning without the need to rush. At last, we three are able to have quality time in the dining table to eat together and talk, unlike before that Jun and I hardly eat breakfast at home and Nico had no other choice but to have only his Yaya join him for breakfast.
Preparing for school were also kinda pleasant for the first three days of my SAHMing as there’s no need to prod a perky preschooler to take his vitamins quickly, rush him to poop, bath him and dress him up briefly and still be at the mercy of time and traffic in the metropolis. Just the other day, Nico was constipated and was crying the whole time he was trying hard to get a good tiempo to push. “Mommy, sakit back me,” says my poor boy. Lucky I was there to comfort and encouraged him to give it a good push. After a 15 to 20-minute ordeal, we’re done and finally made it in his “new” school in time, which is just within the vicinity of the subdivision where we live.
Yes, while Nico’s just beginning to attend school for barely a week, we’re into a new school again. Since I am no longer working, we’ve decided to transfer Nico this early, from the school near my former Office to another school that’s convenient to our new set up. Good thing, just as we thought we’ve been through most schools during our scouting phase as what I’ve mentioned about our learning experience from our preschool hunt, we’ve discovered another good school just within the subdivision. Thanks to some more friends’ recommendation, we have the convenience to drop Nico at 8AM, then just come back to fetch him at 10AM. In between these precious two-hours, I take advantage doing household chores and ready my son’s morning merienda.
Last Wednesday, Nico was so delighted with the meaty spaghetti I prepared for him. I can see it in his eyes that’s he’s so happy I was home. “Mommy, good boy na ba ako kaya di ka na pasok sa Office?” Nico asked. Gee, I was so touched that I was teary eyed when he spoke those words. Because when I was still working, Nico would always beg me to stay home when I am about to go to work. “Mommy, dito ka na lang, wag ka na pasok Office, promise magiging good boy na ako,” Nico would use to say before and that made me so guilty. “Of course anak, you’re always a good boy. But since you’re going to school na, Mommy wants to help with your assignments right after school,” I said and Nico was like: “Huh? Okay. Thank you,” then he hugged me so tight after.
And even there’s just the two of us eating lunch at 12, I have to say, I’ve never enjoyed weekday lunches this good and this full vs. when I was working. Now, I don’t have to worry if my son indeed had a good lunch, if he really ate his food as his former Yaya would use to tell me when I call them at Office lunch breaks.
And yes, it’s truly enjoyable having siesta times with my son watching his favorite TV shows Game Ka Na Ba and a little of Wowowee before we finally doze off to take a long nap from 1PM to 4PM. Hehe, another realization: I have nothing against Pinoy lunch shows but I used to think it will not bring any good to watch TV shows such as Wowowee, but during the first three days of about 15-30 minutes exposure to the show, I discovered Willy Revillame’s show touches so many lives din pala. 
As soon as Nico woke up from his long nap in the afternoon, that’s the time we do his assignments and advance on some more lessons. It’s truly fulfilling being the first person whom a preschooler can turn to for the school stuff that he’s curious and eager to learn. We’re also enjoying our time together in the afternoon with some more merienda and playing with kids in the neighborhood in between. Because again, back when I was working, I’d often asked the Yaya to have Nico play along with the kids in the neighborhood though sometimes the Yaya would opt to stay home simply because she’s lazy to go out. “Oh, wala ka bang pasok ngayon at ikaw ang nag-aalaga kay Nico?” our neighbors asked me the first time they saw me in pambahay clothes in the subdivision’s kids playground. And happy and excited I was to break the good news that I just resigned from work, our neighbors’ common reaction would be, “Ha? Resigned ka na? Sayang naman work mo. Sana naghanap ka na lang replacement nang Yaya ni Nico at hindi ka na nag-resign.” I just smiled.
Whose better? SAHM or Working Moms?
I know that our neighbors have no bad intentions for their remarks when I broke them the news. Actually, I’ve expected people around us to most likely remark the same during the early parts of my SAHMing. With the reality now that jobs are hard to find, comments such as those are already expected to pour in. Well I guess, it’s just a matter of choice. I would not want to make a comparison between whose better: working mothers or stay-at-home Moms, because both have their advantages and downsides.
I’ve been through being a working Mom for a while and I knew the fulfillment and self-esteem it brings me but at the same time I realized how hard it is too to juggle both career and motherhood. In the same way, SAHMs have the opportunity to really focus on their kids, witnessing each and every milestone and having the advantage to bond more. But at times too, the calling of being a full time mother brings exhaustion or boredom having to do the same routine over and over. Now that I am a SAHM myself, I’m thinking of ways to buster some SAHMing whoo-hoohs.
WAHMing in between SAHMing
I haven’t actually buckled down to work but starting Monday, I’d be helping my husband with the paper-related works for our little growing business. It’s the most economical arrangement right now since we’re just starting (and my resignation would greatly impact on our finances) and that the non-hiring for the meantime of someone to do the secretarial work would augment some operational expenses. I’d be peaking in doing the paper-related works while Nico’s having his long afternoon nap or after he’d fallen asleep at night time. If earnings for the business turns out fine in the coming weeks with two more publications availing of our little biz’ delivery services, I hope it that can eventually pave the way for the hiring of a permanent assistant to do the paper work.
When that happens, I’d plan to accept some editorial writing jobs on the side like the one I used to do for two organizations-one was an advertising/PR agency that got me as copywriter for some communication campaigns and another for a businessman in the food manufacturing industry who happens to be the baranggay captain of a high-end village in Makati, who, for years back hired me for the management and production of his weekly gazette for the village. Even now that a new baranggay captain is installed, he was still convincing me to work again for their baranggay gazette whenever we bumped at each other especially when he has meetings with our big bosses in the Office where I used to work.
I do hope these plans would materialize as it would justify enough to keep me fulfilled as I still get to do the work I’ve always love doing while at the same time having enough time homemaking for a family.
The Search for a Househelp (Not a Yaya!)
For the meantime, I’m currently doing most of the chores at home except for the laundry and ironing of clothes on weekends which are being done by Berna, our lavandera/iron woman of four years. But knowing how hard it is to manage a household, Hubby was sensitive enough to have noticed my struggles (especially with mopping the floor and cleaning the bathrooms) that I just knew the other day he’s looking for a permanent househelp to give me an extra hand with the housework which I think is more economical than having a separate pay for a weekend lavandera/iron lady.
Looking Ahead
I haven’t started with the turnover of my tasks in the Office so I’ll still be going to my workplace frequently until the regional trade event is finished by August. With some workloads to still keep me occupied for sometime, my Mom as well as families and friends would say I won’t feel the crunch of being SAHM just yet. “Wait till you’re cleared from workloads, rough times are ahead. Naku, sa umpisa lang masarap ang nasa bahay, pero pag tagal tagal, ma bo-bored at mapapagod ka na rin,” was the most common comment I get.
I admit, for someone like me whose used to be occupied with so much workloads (and having spent almost 10 years in the corporate world is no joke), it’s all but natural that I’ll undergo that phase of boredom and exhaustion. That’s why I’ve always said that moving on to be a SAHM is one of the bravest decisions I’ve made for the longest time (the last of the toughest I think was that of when I decided to get married). I am very much aware that what’s in store remain uncertain till I get the hang of the new change and I just hope that with the boredom and exhaustion busters I’ve mentioned, I can eventually get by and be contented and find comfort still of staying home for good whatever hurdles it would take.
All that matters to me now is my son and seeing him happy that I am here for him 24/7, I definitely have no reason not to be happy too. Who knows? When Nico’s older, I can get back to planning for myself once more.
22 responses so far
Congrats, congrats… I am so happy for you. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll...
Hi Feng..don’t worry about the impending “boredom”. I truly believe that it will all depend on you to make everyday as an SAHM truly worthwhile. Besides, with your Nico around, that doesn’t leave much room to get bored. Tired pa siguro pero I doubt if ma-bored ka. Just like your routine back when you were still working, things will fall into place now that you’re an SAHM.
Hi, Feng! Congratulations on being a SAHM. Ako naman I’m back in the corporate world. You’re right it’s a matter of choice. But honestly, I have spent the best years of my life being a SAHM. Kaya lang I have to be practical na… but given the chance again, I love being a SAHM. My kids (and myself) are still adjusting.
I agree with Kongkong, don’t worry about “boredom”, you’ll have a lot to attend to…. It’s just a matter of how you will work it out.
Good luck!
Feng, congratulations on your decision on being a SAHM. I bet your son is so happy that you will be around him 24 hours a day. It will be hard at first but once you get into the swing of things, everything will be fine.
aaww. may kurot sa puso yang question ni nico . kakaiyak nga yan.
tungkol sa mga kapitbhay mo. share ko lang what just happened to me. someone asked me, didnt you ever work? sagot ko, i did when i was single, worked for a while when i was working till i realized ayoko mamasukan.
kaya dedma lang. ayoko makipagtalo, kasi kung tutuusin, kanya-kanyang choice lang yan.
ang sagot sa akin, ang sarap naman ng buhay mo. sana ganyan din ako.
now there was nothing wrong with what she said, but how she said it. it was i believe, said with a hint of sarcasm. gets mo?
pero ako, sanay na kasi ako
^ let me rephrase a statement - i became a working mom for a while, till i realized…
Kudos to you Feng! I was teary-eyed while reading Nico’s question/remarks. I’m sure he loves every minute of you being with him and taking good care of him. Walang substitute sa love ng mommy.
My mom became a SAHM when i was 3 and there are times that boredom kicks in. Sometime she would whine about the household chores and she is very sensitive whenever we don’t finish our baons. Sasabihin nya na ang hirap mag prepare tapos binabale-wala. What i’m trying to say is be occupied in some other things besides household work and child care. Para hindi rin nakakasawa. Just my two cents.
Take care!
Aaawww, kaka touch naman ang question ni Nico. I wrote something in my blog too about being a SAHM and a working Mom. I’m glad you’re doing great. Keep it up!
Those are heartwarming words from a young boy. It shows how happy he is knowing that you’ll be spending more time together.
I’m glad that you’re enjoying your days as a SAHM. I’m sure that Nico will benefit best having you at home.
Hope you can find a suitable helper to assist you with the household chores.
Hope the transition at work will be fast and problem free. Take care and enjoy the coming weekend.
Feng, it all boils down on our priorities. You are right, there are advantages and downsides to both choices. At this time, your decision is good because Nico is starting school. That’s what I did too ten years ago (teaching students in our house as well as in my MIL’s house where I got a small room for that purpose), being a work at home mother until I decided to teach three days a week in Ortigas June of 2006. I needed to “connect” with other therapists, learn from them too. Still got the best of both worlds since I can bring my two younger kids with me there. They are not noisy and makulit when there so its ok.
At least, in due time, you can still do your writing so you too will have the best of both worlds. Good luck to you Feng,wishing you lots of sincere good wishes. To those nosy neighbors, hmph!
there, Feng, you already got a lot of encouraging words from our friends, what’s important is you are happy about your decision–it was not a spur of the moment decision, it was a well thought of decision. it was not your decision alone, but yours and your husband’s. god luck, Feng, God bless you.
You seem to be working the sahmmy/ wahmmy life quite well for a starter.
Hang in there, things will get better, I’m sure. Tsaka nararamdaman ko ang feeling of joy mo just by being able to take care of Nico hands-on, and of course, your hubby. It’s good you were able to transfer Nico to a nearby school, much less hassle for you and him. And ay naku, kurot talaga sa puso ang sinabi nya!
Good luck, Feng! I admire the courage you have in making this decision. Balang araw, sana ako rin maka hanap ng courage to push thru with my long time plan.
You’ve got a battleplan so I doubt if you’ll ever get bored. However from SAHM/WHAM to going back to the rat race will be a different story.
I nearly cried with what Nico told you. He felt somehow responsible you’re always leaving for work. It’s a good thing you made your choice now & even better he was able to ask & say those things to you.
You’re lucky your husband is very understanding. Some will assume you’re happy to do everything now that you’re home. As for the comments you receive, you’re right, ikibit balikat mo na lang. You know better & yes, mahirap humanap ng trabaho, kaya by giving it up, you’re actually allowing someone else to move in di ba? Buti nga may business kayo, ibig sabihin din nakapag-provide kayong mag-asawa ng much needed jobs. I really hope from the bottom of my heart that your small venture succeeds.
10 years as employee? Hay pareho tayo. But unlike you I will be here until I retire, I just don’t see a way out. Hohum.
hello there Mommies! sorry for replying to your comments this late. been busy the past week. anway, better late than never…
hi Kongkong. actually, I’m feeling sad these days. I don’t know if these are SAHMing blues, as they say. is there such a thing. or must it be the adjustments I am dealing with. hay. thanks for the words of encouragement. for the past week, my everyday routine was really tiring and exhausting. i even get to sleep ahead of Nico sa sobrang pagod. di ko na tuloy namalayan kung anong oras sya nag doze off.
sassy mom, thanks. now your case of getting back to the working world after years of beign a SAHM gave me enough optimism to look at the brighter side. like you, I hope to spend meaningful days of my life as a SAHM.
Belle, thanks for the reassurance. the past days were really tough, siguro nga I’m still adjusting with this new phase.
about your kapitbahay, i bet she’s shocked and dared not to ask you again.
ladycess, actually nung sinabi ni Nico yun, sobrang teary-eyed ako at na-guilty bigla when I thought of the times I was forced to leave him to rush for work.
hi Nice! thanks for the advice. and yes, Nico’s happier now, I can always see a smile on his face even when asleep. kakaiba ang aura nya these days.
and happy na rin ako, knowing my son is joyful.
you’re lucky to have a Mom who took care of you 24/7. sad to say, my Mom was working when we her children were still little so I really missed a Mom preparing me baons. oo nga naman, kahit ako rin sa situation ng Mom mo, magtatampo ako kung hindi inubos ng anak ko ang baon that I took time preparing for him.
greymom, thanks. i’ll check your blog entry re: SAHMs and working Moms after replying through all the comments.
Rach, grabe talaga ano when kids know how to speak na. talagang may kurot sa puso. naantig naman ako at napaiyak after Nico said those words. re: the househelp, we now had one, but still got a lot of training to undergo.
julie, dahil sa sinabi mo, i’m now more inspired. and look at you now, with all the work opportunities still after 10 years of being a SAHM/WAHM, I bet you had no regrets giving up a lucrative career in the past.
hearing words of encouragement from Mommy friends, i have no reason to doubt about my decision to be a SAHM finally.
SexyMom, and you have been an inspiration to me too.
May, well the first few days were quite OK except for the week that past, medyo sad lang ng konti. pero, I’m OK now.
re: the transfer of school, oo nga eh, buti na lang talaga at may na-discover pa rin kaming matinong school. imagine, I can still do household chores in between the two precious hours that Nico is still in school. 
you hit the right words, “batttleplan” nga indeed. 
and naku, the moment Nico uttered those words, mangiyak-ngiyak ako talaga. nakaka-konkensya. re: the little business, we’ve got a long way to go before we can finally consider it as our main source of income. but for the meantime, si Hubby na lang muna ang bahala sa amin. 
auee, hello there.
and re: being a forever employee, don’t be too pessimistic. who knows, di ba? career opportunities pa naman abound in UK.
as i see it, you already traced your game plan so i dont think you’ll ever get bored.. Nico’s comment is so touching, pahalik nga sa batang yan.. hey, parang ate ka lang ni Nico in that picture..
analyse, thanks for the words of encouragement. hay, iba pala talaga pag nakakapag salita na ang bata, sobrang ma guilty and ma konsensya ka when he made a remark on something. re: me and Nico in photo, ay buti di mo sinabing mukha akong Lola ni Nico.
:)
Congratulations for joining the ranks of the stay-at-home moms. Became one myself about 11 months ago after working for 18 years. I am sure you will enjoy spending more time with your family in the next few months. Just a warning though, this lifestyle can be addicting so you may never want to get back to the corporate world but that ain’t too bad. =)
hello there Angel! how in the big world of blogsphere led you here? hehe, curious lang po. but in anyway, i’m so glad you dropped by.
it’s an honor for me po. 
thanks for the encouraging words. with so many testimonials from SAHMs including yours, i definitely have no reason to doubt or regret on my decision to stay home for good. it sure was hard for you, 18 years is 18 years and your body clock must have gotten used to the working world.
though I can’t fully say yet that I am enjoying the privileges of SAHMing (because I’m still turning over some workloads in the Office since Monday), but I’m really looking forward to making the best out of my SAHMing years ahead.
will check on the your Blog in a bit…
Now that I stay at home, I have more time to blog hop. =) Stumbled upon your page from Sexy Mom’s site and saw your article about transitioning to being a SAHM. Anyway, will stay tuned for your stories about the SAHM life. I know it will be a great time for you. God bless.
Feng, I’m sure Nico is loving every waking moment… and so are you!
Definitely, when our kids are older, we can reinvent ourselves and make a comeback. Kaya nga daw even as SAHMs, we should also not forget to cultivate our talents.
Angel, ah OK. i’m a frequent visitor at SexyMom’s site (she’s been an inspiration) so every time she has new posts, I never fail to visit.
and yes, being a SAHM allows us more time to connect with the blogsphere. though I’ve been discipling myself nowadays to stick on a regular bloghopping schedule as mommying chores are of importance too. 
thanks for dropping by again, and God bless you too. 
i definitely agree with you Chats. whether SAHM or working Mom, we should never forget to leave something /care for ourselves too. and yes, Nico’s loving every minute of me being at home, though for the rest of this week, i’ve been turning over some workloads in the Office so medyo nagtatampo sya that I have to leave him for some more hours. anyway, that would be another set of kwento, soon. hay.
So how is it going, Feng? I guess a certain degree of disorientation is to be expected. But if you’re a homebody or good at homemaking . .. I guess there shouldn’t be too much difficult adjustment?
Bravo for making this decision!
I am approaching a similar — but really not quite (hahaha( — turnpike of my life. Excited now!
hi annamanila. you hit the right words, “a certain degree of disorientation” is on-going. that so explains too why I haven’t been on my regular blogging and bloghopping rituals for weeks. often, I forget to wake up at midnight to connect with the blogsphere for some hours. less that and after a complete turnover of workloads in the Office, I’m adjusting just fine.
yours is definitely different, it was a phase something worth anticipated excitingly. I too have an officemate hinging retirement of Feb next year, actually, she should have retired Feb of 2007 pa, but she extended her stay up to Feb next year, and she wished the time would stop ticking.