ANOTHER YAYA RESIGNATION IN THE OFFING
And it happened once more. Nico’s Yaya is hinting to resign again. This time, it was not about the cellphone issue but just about a shallow reason which we found so vague. Last week, in the middle a very hectic day in the office, Yaya Ness interrupted me with a call just to say she’s so bored with her daily routine that she wanted a new job that would challenge her. I was like puzzled by the way she told me her reason for resigning because I just don’t get her point. “Bakit, ano na naman ang problema mo? Bakit na naman gusto mong mag-resign?” I asked her. “Wala po, sobrang nabo-bored na po ako sa trabaho ko,” she answered. I was about to rebut some more to ask her questions when all of a sudden I heard her crying out loud, as in hagulgol sa pag-iyak then saying, “Ate, nalulungkot po ako”.
I want to scream the moment I hear Ness’ reasons. Lucky I was able to control my temper a bit, though medyo nag-ala Annabelle Rama na ako with words as: “Naku naman Day, ngayon ka pa nalungkot, mag two years ka na sa amin di ba? Ganyan lang talaga, kanya kanya lang talaga tayo ng gampanin sa buhay. Kala mo ba, madali lang para sa akin na iwanan ang anak ko ng mahigit 12 hours a day? Sobrang nalulungkot din ako Day. Sana maintindihan mo na ganyan talaga, kailangang mag sacrifice tayo para maghanap-buhay”.
I just sheered away from the point she want to raise but actually, the moment she said the word “nalulungkot”, I knew what she exactly meant.
Over the last two weeks, we had Jane in the house, an admin assistant that we hired on a stay-in basis to help in the daily operations of our little growing business. We hired Jane on Yaya Ness’ recommendation (Jane is a close friend of Ness) and decided to let her stay-in the house because we thought it would be an advantage since her daily duties require working as early as dawn (for helping in the dispatch of the delivery staff with their routes). We also thought the stay-in arrangement will be beneficial to Nico and Yaya Ness because at least they have another companion in the house.
But with the turn out of events in the house, we later decided to pull-out Jane from the house because what we ideally thought would be beneficial and productive for both the business and our family didn’t materialized. Jane and Ness ended up chatting as casual as friends do as if they don’t have any looming loads of work to do. I was even forced to take a leave of absence in the office last week just to help Hubby out with his correspondences, billings and client presentations because Jane can’t do her work well because she and Ness would always be close to one another, either chatting and exchanging cellphones to see each others’ text messages from their co-textmates. The chatting happens spontaneously even as we have a mini-office downstairs whose entrance is separated from the house.
In the same way, Ness can’t concentrate fully on looking after Nico or doing some chores in the house because often than not, she’s chatting with Jane or helping Jane out with her work. Even as I called Ness’ attention, “Ness, tapusin mo muna yung pinapagawa ko sayo, hindi mo trabaho yan, wag ka makialam dyan”, she would always say, “Sandali na lang or Teka lang po Ate”. Apparently, Ness was so excited and overwhelmed with the work that Jane is doing that she wanted to do the same. Hay. When I asked Ness to run for errands, guess what, Jane would always tag along with Ness as if they were conjoined twins and inseparable. The whole time I was at home Tuesday last week, they had no idea I observed them keenly.
So after a good thought with Hubby and some suggestions from my in-laws, we decided to terminate Jane’s services the following day even if it meant tedious work for us. Ness obviously didn’t expect things to turn out like that so she was somewhat sad with Jane leaving the house.
And this instance I guess was the very reason now why Ness is threatening us that she’ll resign (again). Not that she’s bored though I bet she realized there are more exciting jobs out there than just being a Yaya and she wants to experience a job that would challenge her. But it’s more of like, she wants Jane back in the house so she has a constant companion.
Well, since her call last Wednesday, I haven’t had a chance to talk to her seriously about her supposed resigning kuno and in the same way, she haven’t talk to me about the matter (Or hindi na nya ako kayang utuin ngayon?). Hay, eh ano bang akala nya, ipinanganak ako kahapon? If before, she can somewhat manipulate us with her tricks, well now, we’ve learned our lessons. If she’s really going to insist to resign, well then, by all means, we’ll give her the freedom to do so. If before, I am so worried because Nico was so heart-broken with her Yaya Ness leaving, I am confident it will be different this time. Nico has found company through a circle of friends he keeps in school and that’s a good thing. I have a feeling Ness is beginning to feel that she’s being redundant already. 
Last Saturday, Ness took a day off and returned the early morning of Monday. We never bothered to call or text her though her day off should have only been for one day and she should have returned the night of Saturday. We’re just waiting for her to talk to us but she haven’t initiated up to now. I don’t know, but I am not sure I want to initiate a talk with her.
Our dilemma now is, if that one faithful day happens, should we look for a replacement? Or it’s a clear sign for me that hey, it’s about time for me to be a SAHM, once and for all?
Shucks, the pasaway na Yaya is giving me a headache really, or must it be that I am going crazy na. Hay, ewan!
17 responses so far
Congrats, congrats… I am so happy for you. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll...
Feng, sayang naman kung mawawala si Soulmate Nanny. She must have realized how much she missed adult company when her friend stayed with you for a while, and maybe she would like to go back to school or do office work like Jane. At baka nagtatampo din siya ng konti kay Nico kasi marami nang kaibigan at hindi na siya masyadong kailangan, hehe.
If I were you I think unahan mo na si Ness. Sabihin mo na mukhang hindi na siya masaya and maybe she can suggest a replacement (or if you really want to be a SAHM - or rather WAHM, since you’ll be tending to your business - go for it)
pero mahirap nang hintayin ninyo na siya ang umalis. Baka mangyari yung dati na umalis lang siya na walang paalam.
Christianne, i also thought of the same. she really missed being a teenager. palibhasa, maagang namulat sa pagtra-trabaho and providing for her family. we’ve offered her going to night school, pero she declined, next year na lang daw. naisip din siguro ni Ness, Nico’s big na and have his own set of friends to join. napansin ko, Nico only approaches her Yaya to give her books and things. nothing less.
thanks for the advice, i’ll take on that. perhaps it’s really high time that we talk to Ness, heart to heart. these past few days, it seems mukhang OK naman na sya. she’s happy telling me stories of other Yayas in Nico’s school. she realized siguro na swerte pa rin sya coz we treat her as family na rin. the Yayas kasi na kausap nya dun sa school, mos them naka uniform pa, iba daw ang food na kinakain vs. the employers, etc etc.
pero just the same dilemma ko pa rin to finally decide to be a SAHM/WAHM.
Hi Feng, if you can visualize yourself being a SAHM/WAHM, I think it’s okay for you to make that transition, regardless of Yaya Ness being there or not.
Otherwise, my 2-cents worth would be to find out from Yaya Ness if she is really prepared to move out. Without talking to her, it’s kinda difficult guessing what she really wants kasi.
Hope you have a happy weekend. Cheers!
Hi Feng,
JMHO
That’s one of the drawbacks on having a yaya - you are at their mercy sometimes. Especially if your child has gotten attached to the yaya. But the good thing about your situation is that Nico is going to school now and you, more or less, aren’t that dependent on her.
O baka naman talagang this is one of the signs para maging SAHM ka na?
I have a problem with my household help too, it’s actually saved in my draft and i’m just about to post it pa lang. You’re lucky to at least experienced having a reliable yaya for nico, one reason that i decided to be a SAHM is because i can’t find a yaya that i can trust. kaso pasaway din pala yaya ni nico, hehe. i think you did the right thing by letting her feel that you’re not threatened anymore if she leaves, sometimes kasi lumalaki na ulo nila kaya they keep on threatening you that they will leave na lang kung di mapapagbigyan or mapapagalitan. i hope that if you decided to continue working you’ll be able to find a better replacement (if ness will leave), or if you decided to be a SAHM, then i’m sure nico will be happy to spend more time with you than anyone else. goodluck!
ako naman, if a yaya wants to leave, hinahayaan ko na lang, kasi pag pinilit ko to stay, magiging sakit ng ulo ko lang. but then again, theres the other problem of looking for a yaya, then training her, etc etc… hopefully it’s just a phase
Unahan mo na at kausapin mo. If she still wants to leave then ask her to stay a while until you can find a replacement.
RE: staying home
I think your worries & concerns are like prewedding jitters. From what I can sense in your writings you’ve been longing to do that for a long time. Just make sure that you have enough money in the bank for at least the first 6 months’ worth of your monthly outgoings, you know just in case.
Feng, what is it with yaya’s/help? Ganyan talaga sila, bihira yung marunong mag-paalam ng maayos. Tama, talk to her na and ask her if she can recommend a replacement. Better yet, try to find one na din as back-up. Tsaka, wag mong suyuin si Ness..I know she must really mean something to you and to Nico but when things like this happen, lumalaki din ulo nila if you sweet talk them. Mali naman kasi yun ginawa niya. If you need to cut..cut cleanly.
LATEST UPDATE:
Yaya Ness took a day off from work yesterday, she’s not yet home as of today, Monday. nag-text ang mother nya about 10:30PM last night, nandun daw sa kanila si Ness, masakit daw ang tiyan, papatingnan daw nila sa doctor. i dont know if its true but thank God, it coincided that i’m really scheduled to be on vacation leave today coz it’s my Dad’s death anniversary and we have a small padasal at my parent’s house. kung hindi pa, ewan ko na lang.
i just saw our landline bill today with cellphone call charges, when i traced the owners of the cellphone numbers, mga friends pala ni Ness, ginamit nya ang phone to call two friends sa cellphone, the first call was on 13th June, 12MN, 7 minutes, the second call was 14th June, 10:30 AM, 1 minute. hay naku, another issue ito.
Linnor, thanks so much. i’d really love to be a SAHM/WAHM if not for financial considerations. re: Ness moving out, i can only guess, i haven’t had a chance yet to talk to her but if my intuitions are right, she’s kinda inclined to leave us if she had a choice. pero mukhang kahit gusto na nya umalis, she just can’t till she finds an employer much better than us.
greymom, you hit the right words. sad to say, we working Moms are always at the mercy of Yayas, sad to say. parang lahat na lang gagawin natin to understand them better, and prolong their stay in the house so that someone, even blindly-trusted can take care of our children while we are at work. Nico havent looked for her Yaya since she went on a day off yesterday, masaya naman sya to play with friends in school today.
mommy len, thanks for the advice. ang hirap talaga ano. looks like we’re all one and same as to our feelings towards the attitude of our Yayas. at naku, tama ka, pasaway talaga ang Yaya ni Nico. if not only for my son’s love for her, matagal na namin sya nai-give up. this time around, she felt less relevant in the house and for Nico. i’ll check on your post re: your own Yaya blues later tonight.
ladycess, that’s exactly my consideration too, we’ll be starting from scratch again, training, training and more training before the newly-hired gets used to it. but hey, you’re right, it’s just a phase, hopefully, kung marunong matuto ang househelp/yaya, she’s get by the chores kaagad. ang tanong, kung slow ang nakuhang replacement. hay.
auee, dapat talaga kakausapin ko on a weekend. kaso, i didnt have a chance nung sat, at yesterday naman she took a day off from work. re: to be a SAHM, actually, financial considerations lang talaga what’s hindering me to decide. alam mo na, i have to complement my Hubby for us earn for decent living.
kongkong, with the latest developments now, mukhang it will really call for a heart to heart talk. sayang lang at i didnt have that chance to talk to her last weekend. anyway, we’ll see what happens later today/tonight.
Hay, naku, Feng! Mild pa lang yang kaso ng yaya mo.
Noon, my kids had a sosyalerang yaya. One Sunday, which was her day off, we all left the house for my mom’s birthday. The yaya on the other hand, went out with friends. When we came home, we found her very drunk in the living room, with her friends. She was crying, apparently of broken heart. Bottles of beer littered in the living room. I was fuming mad, but I controlled myself. Hay, among all the countless yayas we had had, that one’s the most unforgettable!
rhodora, sa kwento mo about your ex pa sossy Yaya, naku, eh grabe nga talaga yan. gawin bang bottle session area ang living room ng employer nya. masyado naman syang sinuswerte sa inyo! buti at you still afforded to remain calmed, kung ako yan, baka nakasapak na ko ng tao. grrr!
ay ang drama sa likod ng buhay ng ating mga yaya!
easy ka lang sis… in time mare-realize nya na swerte cia sa inyo and once pinakawalan nya yang buhay nya sa inyo bilang yaya, naku, magsisisi yan!
naku kathy, hindi lang basta drama, pang telenovela or even Maalaala mo Kaya ang drama ng mga ito. as of today, tsinugi na namin si Ness. mukhang nabilga yata.
indeed we are on the same boat! it’s really hard to let go if you see how much love and attention they can give our children but sometimes, i also think na it should also be about the comfort that it brings to the whole household. mahirap kasi yung maganda pakikitungo mo tapos di ka sinasagot ng totoo. hay naku!
definitely agree with you roxie. well i guess, this should serve as a lesson for us again. naku, itong mga Yaya at househelps na ito…
Feng, i am starting to love your blog! the more i read it, the more i understand that i am not alone in this world. I am not the only working mom worrying about my baby’s education and yaya… thanks to you! recently, i had a very heated argument with my yaya which really turned ugly… up to now i am still trying to heal the emotional hurt and anger she caused me and i think writing about her in my blog would also help… thanks to you!!!!!
sorry for the late reply Mommy Ella. medyo nagka technical glitches lang here last week, but am glad now it’s back and I can reply to your comments.
and naku, lahat naman yata ng mga households with yayas or househelps have their share of nanny blues. and most of the time, expression of all these blues helps. parang nakahinga ka ng maluwag. hope all ends well for you and the yaya.