SOME POST-MOTHER’S DAY WOES :)
Mother’s Day is probably the most anticipated by me as amongst the many important occasions marked red in the calendar. I’ve treated it even as very significant, probably next to special occasions to me such as that of my son’s birthday. As a famous celebrity in her most recent cake TV ad said, “the heroism and selflessness that Mothers shower to their families are manifested throughout the year, and that we should make it a point to honor our Mothers in that one special Day just for them”. Another remarkable quote that’s been said about this very dear Day for Mothers was that of the famous “the best thing that a Father could do for his child is to love his/her Mother”.
Well, I guess my husband hasn’t been able to watch that TV ad or even conscious enough about the famous quote because as what happened last Sunday, he definitely didn’t exert an extra conscious effort to do something extra special for the mother of his son, and that’s me. Well, he remembered and he greeted me on the dear day. Should I be thankful enough? Not for me. Others can call it a little bit of a shallow, but you know, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I probably expected something special on my day. And it didn’t happen.
We just stayed home the rest of the day bumming around. Actually, he asked me about mid day about what I’d plan to do. So I just said, we’ll go out, eat out, attend the Sunday Mass, then go home. But then again, from I don’t know how it came to be, we decided to stay home and take a long nap after lunch then just attend the 4PM Mass and do the groceries in the afternoon. Blame it probably on the unbearable heat outside that we just felt it’s not a good time to go out plus the fact that we’re thinking to take the chance to rest throughout the day because the next day will be one heck of a merry-go-round travel day for us and we’ll perhaps be out the whole day to exercise our privilege to take part in the much-awaited elections. I say merry-go-round of travel because Jun and I have separate voting precincts (kilometers and kilometers away). Yup, you heard it right. Because after six years of being married, I haven’t updated yet my status as far as voter’s registration is concerned. That’s one of three important things I haven’t updated since I got married. The other two were my passport and my US Visa. Anyway, going back to the elections, while he’s now a registered voter in where we live, I am on the other hand still registered in my hometown. Thus, we’ve anticipated that the following day will be a rigorous travel for a three-year old.
But then again, that’s beside the point. The issue was that it’s Mother’s Day and I felt that even just for that day, he’d be the one leading on how the three of us are going to spend it (because all throughout our togetherness, he’d always leave it all up to me to plan for special occasions such as this). Well, in fairness, I was little bit relieved from washing the dishes, swiping and mopping the floor as the rest of the other chores that I and the Yaya (who, by the way, was reprimanded by me to visit her Mother, even just for that day) usually does. And he calls that his own little way of showing me what Mother’s Day meant. Duh, men naman talaga are most often insensitive. How can he not read what’s on my mind?
Hehehe. Shallow of me really, huh? But those that I mentioned are plainly, just my post-Mother’s Day woes. Nothing really serious about that, yet, just ranting again about my not-so romantic but equally loving husband. 
And I better stop ranting about the dear Hubby as this post might find its way more appropriate to the Being a Better Half category. This post is originally intended for The Mommy-Heart in Me category, so must I stop ranting. And oh well, as it is said, “it’s the thought plus the effort that count really”.
But seriously, more than gifts and anything material in this world, the sweet “Happy Mother’s Day Mommy” greeting from my Nico was definitely the most treasured gift I received this Mother’s Day. I know Nico haven’t felt whole-heartedly yet on the real sense of these words (as he’s utterance of those were coached by the Yaya and his Dada and somewhere in between, his long exposures to TV programs that mentions the dear day for mothers), but hearing him innocently utter those words, combined with a tight hug and sweet little kisses, are indeed music to my ears. What could be more precious than that?
It’s been four years since the time I became a mother, and up to now, there’s more to experience. It’s a learning process. While I’d thought mastering diapering and perfecting to burp the baby were great accomplishments already…
I realized there’s more beyond motherhood. It’s taking the challenge to be more giving, more loving and definitely selfless.
Until I am confident Nico can already stand on his own, be the best that he can be for himself and others, and see him in the most contenting time of his life, then I can say to myself that I have succeeded in truly fulfilling my role as a mother for him.
13 responses so far
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Feng, it is okay to rant out those feelings that made you feel “not-so-special” during this special day for mothers. But on second thought, maybe that’s why your husband didn’t think this was more special than any other day of the year is because “everyday is like mother’s day” for him. My 2 cents.
Hope you are ok now.
hi julie. aga mo ah.
oh well, i’d like to think the way you said it. i’ve already accepted the fact that we’re really opposites, he’s not-so romantic at all while i’m forever a hopeless romantic. 
hay, i’m feeling better now. thanks for listening.
Men naman talaga are clueless! You gotta give it to them straight but when you do, it isn’t as romantic anymore. I have long accepted that my hubs, while he is the most loving, is also the most forgetful. I used to drop hints upon hints and he was still in the dark. Then I’d go and sulk because I’d end up feeling like it was only me who wanted things done. Now that I tell him as it is, it’s been a lot less complicated. Not so romantic but well…
I told him last April, “Mother’s Day falls is on the 2nd Sunday of May.” He goes, “So?” And I’m like, “Nothing, just letting you know. What you do after that is up to you.” Good thing he saved the info so I got something, at least
Happy Mother’s Day, Feng!
actually, i do not expect anything from my husband on mother’s day–i am not his mother. no expectations, no hurts. what makes mother’s day meaningful for me, year in and year out is how my kids prepare a card for me, or give me small gifts. i return in treat them out for dinners.
belated happy mother’s day, dear feng!
hi May! so is the saying that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus holds true di ba? We’re really wired differently. Nothing wrong with that though, it’s just that we women would often like to think they can read of minds. Well, at least Tots didn’t forget the dear day, and even was able to give something special for you.
Hello Feng, I read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and this is so much it! but that’s okay, it is so much as our right as it is our privilege to rant at times and to hope for something more and yet remain contented as we are. Ironic and weird!
hi Roxie. hehehe, looks like the book is a best-seller among women ah. hmmm, ain’t it time to have the husbands read this book too? on the other thought, baka they’d prefer watching the NBA games.
yay, ironic and weird talaga ano.
hello there Sexy Mom! BTW, your comment was caught by Akismet as spam, i’m puzzled how it came to be? did you change your ISP/server? anyway…
natawa ako sa comment mo. oo nga naman, you’re not your husband’s mother, so why expect something special pa
agree with you, what makes mother’s day special is feeling appreciated by your kids. nothing far compares to that, right?
belated happy mother’s day to you too Sexy Mom.
hi feng… i know where you’re coming from. But this May I cannot complain about hubby’s lack of greetings as Mother’s Day here is celebrated in March. That said, I am a hopeless romantic, too. Hubby is sweet & loving & sobrang lambing but totally clueless on what makes me swoon. I guess it was my mistake, I really thought he’d change or learn as he’s been like that eversince I met him. Alam mo nga one time he surprised me with flowers for no reason, I cried. And it made him feel so bad that I felt so deprived that I reacted that way. Kahit paano he’s trying but you know what, most of the time I just expect nothing para as Dine said no hurt feelings… Though I still nag him about it from time to time hehehe — kulit.
hi auee. alam ko yang feeling mo because we’ve been through that also. yun bang the husband totally do not have any idea on how much a little appreciation meant so much for the wife. then, the husband will just be shocked na the wife felt pity for herself already na pala. sobrang guilty naman si husband. oh well, ganyan lang talaga siguro ang rigadoons ng married life.
kulit no.
it’s easy to think that we’re not expecting so as we wouldn’t get hurt. pero sometimes nga, we can’t help it. nagger din ako minsan pero ngayon medyo nag mature na rin ako
Hi Feng!
OMG, pareho tayo- hopeless romantic ako… and my husband is the opposite! Actually, he did remember Mother’s Day (”How can I miss it, with all the commercials on tv and the papers…” - how romantic. blah.). I did not get any surprise, instead he told me ako na bahala. So I did just that. Hay.
I learned through the years to be straight-forward and tell him outright what I want. Because if I wait for him to guess what I’m thinking/expecting, he would miss it by a mile! So ayan, nabawasan na rin pagkaromantic ko LOL!
Looking back, malaking change na rin pala nya in terms of showing affection. I guess that’s because he wasn’t brought up in a very affectionate family. So in fairness to my husband, mas romantic na sya konti now that 10 years ago hehe
btw, sexy mom’s comment on my blog was also caught by Akismet.. Hmmm… bat kaya?
hello Chats. apir tayo sa hopeless romantic eclavu natin. nakaka-sad naman talaga kasi ang insensitivity and being clueless of the husbands. well, we have no choice but to accept that fact. it’s just how they were wired to be.
si hubby mo “mas romantic now than 10 years ago” — good for you! at least improving di ba? etong esposo ko, ewan ko lang, mukhang diminishing yata.
thanks for visiting chats. see you in the Mommy Lunch.