DEALING WITH A TERRIBLE THREE
And so Nico’s officially 3-years old! Does that mean we’re done with the Terrible Twos? Here’s what the Baby/Parent’s Center has to say:
Not so fast. Defiant behavior and temper tantrums don’t magically disappear when your child turns 3. In fact, power struggles can continue for years (just wait until your child becomes a teenager).
Oh my, so that would mean 10 more years of waiting? But really, this Expert’s answer from the Baby/Parent’s Center is so true. What’s surprising was that, it’s even more worse than when Nico was still 2-years old. He now knows how to act overly just to get our attention, simultenous with crying–with tears or no tears, and mumbling his paawa-effect na “Mommy or Daddy” so many times. Just today, before I go work, Nico was having his tantrums again. The clever Yaya was even able to document in video the tantrums of our “Best Actor of All Times”.
And just in case the video won’t show, please click here.
Prior to the recording of the video, I was bidding temporary goodbye to Nico before I leave for work. I was confident it would be a breeze and that he would reciprocate my bye with his usual lambing of a hug and a kiss and “Love You”. Because aside from the fact that Jun is still at home to bathe Nico before he leaves for work, we thought that Nico’s already over with his separation anxiety a long, long time ago. But to our surprise, he didn’t. He was having the worst tantrums ever in his most tricky and manipulating life again. *Sigh*
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And here’s what the experts have to say about Terrible Threes:
Question: Is there such a thing as “the terrible threes“? I thought my daughter outgrew the “terrible twos,” but at almost 3, they’re back.
Answer: Toddlers are so eager to explore the world on their own that when they come up against a barrier — whether it’s Mom’s concern for their safety or their inability to climb a tall structure — they react with intense negativity. That’s fueled, too, by their burgeoning identity, which encourages them to test their limits and define their wants and desires, and by their still-developing communication skills, which sometimes feel inadequate to their needs. So when kids this age are mad or frustrated, which is often, they throw a tantrum — hence the label “the terrible twos.”
The thing is, though, that 3-year-olds can go through the same thing. Children cycle through many phases throughout their lives: Sometimes they’re at peace, sometimes they’re working on a tough skill such as empathy or sharing and are easily discouraged, and other times they’re dealing with life changes that everyone — old and young — goes through, such as moving or a death in the family. Parents tend to focus on the “terrible twos” because they’re so notorious, but rough patches can happen any time.
As your child grows, her abilities increase and so does her understanding of the world around her. Surprisingly, though, these new discoveries can sometimes aggravate her or make her mad. If she’s recently started preschool, she may be reacting to the new demands being made on her. If she has a new sibling, she may be lashing out because she’s jealous of the baby. Or she could simply be having growing pains.
What’s more important is how you react to her outbursts; see our tantrum tactics for suggestions. Yelling back or walking away in anger or impatience will only make matters worse. Instead, stay calm and try not to take it too seriously. Encourage your child to put her feelings into words, and if she can’t or won’t, be patient. Try to figure out whether anything in particular is bothering her and help her resolve it. And if she becomes aggressive (she regresses to biting, kicking, hitting, or hair pulling), try our tactics and, if the aggression persists, consult your child’s pediatrician to rule out other possible causes for her behavior.
And here’s what the PARENTS have to say about Terrible Threes…
8 responses so far
nalungkot ako for myself, ndi na tayo sabay 
when...
haha, tagal tumulo ng luha a.. well, on tantrums, still a lot of years to go for us mommies.. bon courage!
Hahaha! Ang cute ni Nico… pwede na mag-artista! Nway, goodluck on dealing with tantrums.. more to come pa yan!
Hay, take it from me. It’s just a matter of how we, parents, deal with it. . . but you’ll survive! I know you’re showering him with so much love and that’s a good way to start.
Feng, as sassy mom said, you will survive. It’s a matter of knowing when the child is truly crying and when the child is just crying to manipulate his parents into doing what he wants done. With me, I had to learn not to give in,especially if the manipulative kind of crying, otherwise my child would know that s/he can bend rules to suit her wants. As with small children, they have to know what is going to happen, so prep your son about this. If you can make a chart/drawing so that he can predict what time you can come back, do so. Include in the drawing what time you are going to call him.
Good luck!
hi analyse, sassy mom and julie! thanks for dropping by. oh well, agree with you all, we still have a lot to go through and perhaps the best way is dealing with it.
julie, i’ll try the charting. good luck to me.
Hi Feng! I don’t know when the tantrums will stop… My nearly-5 girl still has sometimes. My 9 year-old doesn’t anymore. We have progressed to negotiation tactics (boy, she can get really smart sometimes!).
That charting idea from Julie sounds like a good idea.
Chats, naku, at least VGood and Patchy are big girls na and napagsasabihan na. as for guiding Nate, i hope it will be easier na coz may “extensive” experiences ka na with your two girls.
hay, God bless us Mothers!
haha, best actor nga…ang cute….your mommy friends are right mare, just don’t give in. though with a face as sweet as that, i’m sure it’d be hard for you not to.
best actor ba Mare? mana sa Daddy yan, sobrang arte.