From Dawn Till Dusk

As much as possible, I don’t want to talk about this matter in my online diary anymore. I have talked about it so many times (in so consecutive days I think) that its already eating up much space in this journal. And another thing is that, my concerned friends (who were already fed up with my pleas) will definitely kill me as soon as I break this latest news to them. But being true friends that they are, I just hope that they will eventually understand.

The truth is, yes, nasa amin na ulit si Soulmate Nanny, nung Tuesday afternoon pa, 23 January 2007. How did this came to be? It’s a long, winding, and shaky story. Pero yun na nga, nangyari na ang nangyari. Just when I thought she’s out of our lives after that last emotional conversation last last week, hindi pa pala. Ok na kami eh, kahit mahirap we’re persevering to move on with our lives even without her. Honestly, life hasn’t been so easy, especially for Nico who is yet to recover from the Soulmate Nanny’s lost. And thankfully naman, he’s progressing, especially when we started putting him in Preschool last week. Within ourselves, we realized that we are the ones responsible for taking care of our son, to a point that we somewhat lost appetite searching and looking for a new Yaya.

Tapos, eto na naman, part na naman sya sa buhay namin. Kung tutuusin, we could have opt not to accept her for the second time. Are we to blame ourselves because we let these things happen again? It’s a weird feeling that I am having right now. Yes, like Nico, I also terribly missed her. I admit, between her caring and the concerned people who temporarily baby sit for Nico, I can say that nothing really compares to her caring. But that’s only a side of the issue.

Another side of the issue though is her attitude and her character. I am afraid the same thing might happen again, if not now, tomorrow, in the coming days, perhaps in the immediate future. For the sake of my son, who, as I looked now is so very happy with the coming back of her best buddy, I am willing to invest time and trust with her again. But more than that, I am also scared that all our efforts will be put to waste in the end. I wish a lasting relationship and I don’t know if I can be blessed with that. Hanggang kailan naman kaya sya tatagal ulit sa amin? Isang linggo, isang buwan, isang taon? I can only hope. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Last night, I prayed hard to God that He’ll grant me and the Soulmate Nanny the wisdom, the patience, and trust for each other so that once and for all we can live harmoniously in the house. And I am leaving it all up to Him, just him.

***

Nico-Ate Ness Kwento: Yesterday afternoon, Nico and his Ate Ness was playing outside the house. Aling Carmen, our neighbor commented as she saw Nico and his Ate: “Uy, masaya na ulit si Nico, naglalaro na ulit sya. Kasi nung wala Ate nyan, halos two weeks ayaw makipaglaro nyang batang yan eh”.